TSIKU lililonse anthufe timakhala ndi mpata wochitira anzathu zabwino. Koma zikuoneka kuti anthu ambiri masiku ano ali ndi mtima wodzikonda. Mwachitsanzo, anthu ambiri sachita manyazi kuchitira anzawo zachinyengo, amayendetsa galimoto mosaganizira anzawo, amalankhula mawu achipongwe komanso sachedwa kupsa mtima.

Anthu amathanso kusonyeza mtima wodzikonda kwa anthu amene akukhala nawo nyumba imodzi. Mwachitsanzo, anthu ena amathetsa banja chifukwa choona kuti sakuyenererana. Nthawi zina ana amayamba kudzikonda chifukwa cha zimene makolo awo amachita. Makolo ena amachitira ana awo chilichonse chimene anawo akufuna ndipo sawalangiza akalakwa.

Koma makolo ena akuyesetsa kuphunzitsa ana awo kuti asamakhale odzikonda ndipo zimenezi zawathandiza kwambiri. Ana amene amachita zinthu moganizira ena amakhala ndi anzawo ambiri ndiponso amakhala osangalala. Zili choncho chifukwa Baibulo limanena kuti: “Kupatsa kumabweretsa chimwemwe chochuluka kuposa kulandira.”—Machitidwe 20:35.

Ngati ndinu kholo, kodi mungathandize bwanji ana anu kuti asamachite zinthu modzikonda komanso kuti asatengere mtima wodzikonda umene anthu ambiri ali nawo? Tiyeni tione zinthu zitatu zimene makolo ayenera kupewa n’cholinga chothandiza anawo kuti akule ndi mtima woganizira ena.

Zimene zimachitika. Ofufuza apeza kuti achinyamata amene angoyamba kumene kugwira ntchito amayembekezera kuti zinthu zizingoyenda bwino ngakhale kuti sakugwira ntchito mwakhama. Ena amaganiza kuti akangoyamba ntchito akwezedwa mofulumira asanadziwe ntchito yawo bwinobwino. Komanso ena amaganiza kuti iwowo ndi apadera kwambiri moti aliyense ayenera kuwaona choncho. Koma amakhumudwa akaona kuti anthuwo sakuwaona mmene iwo akuganizira.

Zimene zimachititsa. Nthawi zina anthu ena amadziona kuti ndi ofunika kwambiri chifukwa cha mmene analeredwera. Mwachitsanzo, makolo ena amatengera maganizo omwe afala masiku ano oti makolo sayenera kudzudzula ana awo n’cholinga choti anawo asamadziderere. Anthu anayamba kukhulupirira zimenezi kalekale ndipo zinkaoneka ngati zothandiza. Makolo amene ankadzudzula ana awo akachita zoipa, ankaonedwa ngati makolo oipa. Makolo ankauzidwa kuti kudzudzula mwana n’koipa chifukwa angamadzione ngati wolephera.

Zimenezi zinachititsa kuti makolo ambiri azingoyamikira ana awo chilichonse ngakhale atachita zinthu zosafunika kuwayamikira. Mwana akangochita chinachake chabwino ankamuyamikira kwambiri ndipo akalakwitsa chinachake, ngakhale chitakhala chachikulu bwanji, sankamudzudzula. Makolo ankaona kuti kunyalanyaza zimene mwana wawo akulakwitsa ndi kumene kungamuthandize kuti asamadziderere. Makolo amenewa ankaona kuti chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kuchita zinthu zoti ana awo azisangalala, m’malo mowaphunzitsa kuti azichita zinthu zimene zingawathandizedi kuti adzakhale osangalala akadzakula.

Zimene Baibulo limanena. Baibulo limanena kuti munthu ayenera kuyamikiridwa ngati wachita zinthu zoyeneradi kumuyamikira. (Mateyu 25:19-21) Komabe kumangoyamikira ana zilizonse n’cholinga chofuna kuwasangalatsa kungawachititse kumadziona kuti ndi ofunika kwambiri. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Ngati wina akudziona kuti ndi wofunika pamene si wotero, akudzinyenga.” (Agalatiya 6:3) N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limalangiza makolo kuti: “Usam’mane chilango mwana. Ngakhale utam’kwapula ndi chikwapu, sangafe ayi.” *—Miyambo 23:13.

Zimene mungachite. Muzionetsetsa kuti mukupereka chilango kwa ana anu ngati alakwadi komanso muziwayamikira ngati achitadi zofunika kuwayamikira. Musamangowayamikira n’cholinga chofuna kuwasangalatsa basi, chifukwa zimenezi n’zosathandiza. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Munthu amakhala wodzidalira chifukwa chodziwa zinthu osati chifukwa choti winawake wangomuyamikira popanda chifukwa.”—Generation Me.

“Musamadziganizire kuposa mmene muyenera kudziganizira.”—Aroma 12:3.

Zimene zimachitika. Achinyamata ambiri omwe angoyamba kumene ntchito amayembekezera kuti sazikumana ndi mavuto. Ena amakhumudwa kwambiri wina akawadzudzula ngakhale pang’ono pokha. Achinyamata ena safuna kugwira ntchito imene amaiona kuti ndi yonyozeka. Mwachitsanzo, buku lina limene Dr. Joseph Allen analemba, limanena zimene mnyamata wina anayankha akufunsidwa kuti amulembe ntchito. Mnyamatayo anayankha kuti: “Ndimaona kuti ntchito zina zimakhala zosasangalatsa ndipo ineyo sindifuna kugwira ntchito zoterozo.” Dr. Allen ananena kuti: “Mnyamatayu sadziwa kuti ntchito iliyonse imafika pena poti sisangalatsa. Ndinadabwa kuti zingatheke bwanji kuti munthu afike zaka 23 asakudziwa zimenezi?”—Escaping the Endless Adolescence.

Zimene zimachititsa. M’zaka zapitazi, makolo ambiri akhala akuikira kumbuyo ana awo. Mwachitsanzo, mwana akalakwa mayeso iwo amakonda kupita kwa aphunzitsi n’kukawauza kuti amukhozetse mayeso. Ngati mwana wagwidwa ndi apolisi a pamsewu, iwo amamulipirira mlandu umene wapalamulawo. Komanso ngati mwanayo anali ndi chibwenzi ndiye chatha, iwo amati wolakwa ndi winayo osati mwana wawoyo.

N’zoona kuti makolo ayenera kuteteza ana awo. Komabe kuikira ana kumbuyo akalakwitsa chilichonse kungawachititse kuti azingodalira makolowo kuti ndi amene aziwathetsera mavuto omwe awaputa okha. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Ana oterewa amakhala odzikonda ndipo nthawi zonse amangoyembekezera kuti makolo awo kapena anthu ena azingowachitira zinthu iwo ali phee.”—Positive Discipline for Teenagers.

Zimene Baibulo limanena. Aliyense amakumana ndi mavuto pa moyo wake. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limati ‘zinthu zosayembekezereka zimagwera onse.’ (Mlaliki 9:11) Ngakhale anthu abwino amakumananso ndi mavuto. Mwachitsanzo, mtumwi Paulo anakumana ndi mavuto ambiri pomwe ankalalikira. Komabe mavuto amenewa anamuthandiza kuti akhale wolimba mtima. Iye analemba kuti: “M’zochitika zosiyanasiyana ine ndaphunzira kukhala wokhutira. . . . Ndaphunzira chinsinsi chokhala wokhuta ndi chokhala wanjala. Ndaphunziranso chinsinsi chokhala ndi zochuluka, ndi chokhala wosowa.”—Afilipi 4:11, 12.

Zimene mungachite. Mogwirizana ndi msinkhu wa mwana wanu, muziyesetsa kutsatira mfundo ya m’Baibulo yakuti: “Aliyense ayenera kunyamula katundu wake.” (Agalatiya 6:5) Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwana wanu wawononga katundu wa munthu wina ndipo akufunika kulipira, mungachite bwino kumuuza kuti alipire yekha. Ngati walakwa mayeso, mungamuthandize kuti ayambe kulimbikira n’cholinga choti adzakhoze bwino akadzalembanso mayeso. Ndipo ngati chibwenzi cha mwana wanu wachinyamata chatha, mungachite bwino kumulimbikitsa. Komabe pa nthawi ina mungamuthandize kuti aphunzirepo kanthu pa zimene zachitikazo. Ana amene amayesetsa okha kuthana ndi mavuto awo amakhala odzidalira komanso amakhala olimba mtima kusiyana ndi ana amene amangodalira munthu wina kuti aziwathandiza.

“Aliyense payekha ayese ntchito yake, kuti aone kuti ndi yotani. Akatero adzakhala ndi chifukwa chosangalalira ndi ntchito yake.”—Agalatiya 6:4.

Zimene zimachitika. Kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti achinyamata 81 pa 100 alionse amaona kuti chinthu chofunika kwambiri pa moyo wawo ndi ‘kukhala olemera,’ osati kuthandiza anthu ena. Koma kufuna kukhala wolemera sikuthandiza kuti munthu akhale wosangalala. Ndipotu kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti anthu amene amangofuna kulemera sakhala osangalala, amadwaladwala komanso amakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri.

Zimene zimachititsa. M’mayiko ena ana amaleredwa ndi makolo okonda kwambiri ndalama. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Ana amafuna zinthu zambirimbiri kuti azisangalala, choncho makolo amangowagulira anawo chilichonse chomwe akufuna kuti aziwasangalatsa. Koma amangosangalala nazo kwa nthawi yochepa, kenako amayamba kufunanso zina.”—The Narcissism Epidemic.

Chifukwa chakuti ana amafuna kupatsidwa zinthu zambiri, amalonda amatengeraponso mwayi kuti katundu wawo azigulidwa kwambiri. Akamatsatsa malonda awo amalimbikitsa maganizo oti ana ayenera kupatsidwa zinthu zambiri komanso zabwino zokhazokha. Achinyamata ambiri amakhulupirira zimenezi ndipo amakula ndi mtima woti afunika kulandira zinthu zambiri komanso zabwino kwambiri. Zimenezi zimachititsa kuti azitenga zinthu pangongole, yomwe amadzalephera kubweza.

Zimene Baibulo limanena. Baibulo limavomereza kuti aliyense amafunika ndalama. (Mlaliki 7:12) Komabe limatichenjeza kuti: “Pokulitsa chikondi [pa ndalama], ena . . . adzibweretsera zopweteka zambiri pathupi lawo.” (1 Timoteyo 6:10) Baibulo limatilimbikitsa kuti tisamakonde chuma koma tizikhutira ndi zimene tili nazo.—1 Timoteyo 6:7, 8.

“Anthu ofunitsitsa kulemera, amagwera m’mayesero ndi mumsampha. Iwo amakodwa ndi zilakolako zambiri zowapweteketsa ndiponso amachita zinthu mopanda nzeru.”—1 Timoteyo 6:9.

Zimene mungachite. Monga kholo, onaninso mmene inuyo mumaonera ndalama komanso zogulagula. Muzikonda kuchita zinthu zofunika kwambiri ndipo muzithandizanso ana anu kuti azichita zomwezo. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Makolo ayenera kukambirana ndi ana awo nkhani zokhudza ndalama. Mwachitsanzo, ayenera kukambirana za nthawi imene angafunikedi kugula zinthu komanso zimene angachite kuti apewe kugula zinthu chifukwa choti munthu wina wangowalimbikitsa kuti agule.”—The Narcissism Epidemic.

Musagulire ana zinthu n’cholinga choti mungothetsa nkhani inayake. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Kumangowagulira ana zinthu n’cholinga choti muthetse vuto linalake n’kosathandiza. Ngati pali nkhani ina imene simukugwirizana ndi mwana wanu, ndibwino kukambirana kuti muthetse vutolo m’malo momangomugulira zinthu.”—The Price of Privilege.