Iyo abana bamaze gukura bakava mu rugo, ababyeyi bahura n’ibibazo bikomeye kuko basigara bameze nk’abantu bataziranye. Gary Neuman, impuguke mu birebana n’imiryango yaravuze ati: “Nkunze kugira inama abashakanye baba bananiwe kongera kubana neza. Iyo abana bamaze kuva mu rugo, ntibongera kubona ibintu baganira cyangwa bahuriraho.” *

Ese namwe mufite icyo kibazo mu muryango wanyu? Niba ari ko bimeze, ntimucike intege; mushobora kongera kubana neza. Reka tubanze dusuzume bimwe mu bituma abashakanye batagira ibyo bahuriraho mu gihe abana bavuye mu rugo.

Mwamaze igihe kirekire mushyira imbere abana. Ababyeyi benshi bashyira abana babo imbere bo bakiyibagirwa, kandi rwose nta kibi baba bagamije. Ibyo bituma bahugira mu nshingano zo kwita ku bana babo, ntibibuke inshingano zireba abashakanye. Ibyo bigaragara igihe abana bamaze kuva mu rugo. Hari umugore ufite imyaka 59 wavuze ati: “Abana bakiri mu rugo, nibura hari ibintu twakoreraga hamwe. Ariko bamaze kugenda, nta ho twari tugihuriye.” Hari n’igihe yabwiye umugabo we ati: “Kubana nawe birambangamiye.”

Ababyeyi bamwe batungurwa n’ibibaye. Hari igitabo cyavuze ko iyo abana bagiye “ababyeyi basigara bameze nk’abagiye gushinga umuryango mushya.” Hari abashakanye bagira gahunda zitandukanye, ukaba wagira ngo ni abantu bibanira mu nzu bataziranye.—Empty Nesting.

Igishimishije ni uko mushobora gutsinda izo ngorane, mukishimira ubuzima bushya mugiyemo. Reka turebe inama zo muri Bibiliya zabibafashamo.

Itoze kubyakira. Bibiliya ivuga ko iyo umwana amaze gukura ‘asiga se na nyina’ (Intangiriro 2:24). Icyo umubyeyi aba asabwa ni ugutoza umwana, akagira ubuhanga buzatuma yibeshaho amaze gukura. Nubigenza utyo, uzaterwa ishema n’uko watoje neza umwana wawe akava mu rugo hari icyo azi.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Mariko 10:7.

Birumvikana ko umubyeyi ahora ari umubyeyi. Ariko uzirikane ko iyo abana bamaze kuva mu rugo, inshingano yawe iba ari iyo kubagira inama; si ukubagenzura. Iyo abana bagiye ukomeza kubafasha, ariko ubona igihe gihagije cyo kwita ku wo mwashakanye. *—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Matayo 19:6.

Muge mubwirana ibibahangayikishije. Jya ubwira uwo mwashakanye uko wumvise umeze igihe abana bari bamaze kugenda, kandi nawe ube witeguye kumutega amatwi wihanganye. Kugira ngo mwongere kugirana ubucuti bukomeye bishobora gufata igihe, ariko nimubigeraho bizabagirira akamaro.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: 1 Abakorinto 13:4.

Muge mukorera hamwe. Muge muganira ku byo mwifuza kugeraho cyangwa ibibashishikaza. Kurera abana banyu bagakura, byabunguye ubwenge bwinshi. Ubwo bwenge muge mubukoresha mwita ku bandi.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Yobu 12:12.

Muge mwibuka isezerano mwagiranye. Jya utekereza ku mico wakundiye uwo mwashakanye. Muge musubiza amaso inyuma mwibuke ibihe byiza mwagiranye n’uko mwabanye mu bibi no mu byiza. Amaherezo ubwo buzima bushya muba mutangiye, buzabashimisha. Nimukorera hamwe, bizatuma murushaho kubana neza kandi mwongere gukundana nka mbere.