Uko wafasha umwana wawe kwihanganira agahinda

UMUGORE wihebye wari mu iduka ricuruza ibitabo ryarimo abantu benshi, yabwiye mugenzi we wabicuruzaga ati “iduka ryanyu ryuzuye ibitabo, ariko nta na kimwe cyafasha umwana wanjye!” Uwo mubyeyi yashakaga igitabo cyafasha umwana we kwihanganira agahinda yari yaratewe n’urupfu rutunguranye rw’umwe mu bari bagize umuryango we.

Uwo mubyeyi yari afite impamvu zo guhangayika. Mbega ukuntu umwana agira agahinda iyo amenye ko umuntu yakundaga yapfuye! Abana bamererwa neza iyo bitaweho n’abagize umuryango wabo, ariko urupfu rushobora kubatwara umuntu bari bafitanye ubucuti bukomeye. None se ni gute wafasha umwana wawe kwihangana mu gihe hari umuntu wanyu wenda gupfa cyangwa wapfuye?

Birumvikana ko mu gihe wapfushije uwo wakundaga, nawe uba ugomba kwihangana. Ushobora kuba ubabaye kandi uhangayitse. Ariko kandi, ntugomba kwibagirwa ko ugomba gutera umwana wawe inkunga. Hari igitabo cyatanzwe n’ibitaro by’i Minnesota muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika cyagize kiti “abana bashobora kumva bimwe mu byo abandi baba bavuga, kandi iyo nta wubasobanuriye, incuro nyinshi bafata ibintu nabi cyangwa bakabyumva mu buryo butari bwo.” Icyo gitabo cyakomeje kigira kiti “abana baba bakeneye kubwirwa ibyabaye.” Ubwo rero, byaba byiza usobanuriye abana bawe ibyabaye, ukurikije ibyo bashobora kumva. Ibyo ntibyoroha kubera ko abana bashobora kuba bafite ubushobozi butandukanye bwo kwiyumvisha ibyabaye.—1 Abakorinto 13:11.

Uko wasobanura ibirebana n’urupfu

Hari abashakashatsi bavuze ko igihe ababyeyi babwira abana babo ibirebana n’urupfu bagombye kwitondera gukoresha amagambo nk’aya: “yasinziriye,” “yigendeye,” “twamutakaje.” Gukoresha amagambo nk’ayo utayasobanuye neza bishobora gutera umwana urujijo. Birumvikana ko Yesu yakoresheje ijambo “gusinzira” ashaka kumvikanisha “gupfa,” ariko kandi abo yabwiraga barabyumvaga. Icyakora twibuke ko atabwiraga abana. Byongeye kandi, ayo magambo ye yarayasobanuye. Yesu yabwiye abigishwa be ati “incuti yacu Lazaro arasinziriye.” Ariko nubwo abigishwa be bari bakuru, ‘bibwiye ko [Yesu] yavugaga ibyo gusinzira bisanzwe.’ Ni yo mpamvu yabasobanuriye neza ati “Lazaro yarapfuye” (Yohana 11:11-14). None se niba abantu bakuru bakeneye  gusobanurirwa neza, urumva abana bacu batabikeneye kurushaho?

Umwanditsi witwa Mary Ann Emswiler n’uwitwa James P. Emswiler baravuze bati “umubyeyi ashobora kuba agerageza gukoresha imvugo idahahamura umwana mu gihe amusobanurira ibirebana n’urupfu, ariko iyo abigenje atyo aba ashobora gutuma umwana yishyiramo ibitekerezo atari afite, ibyo bikaba byatuma agira ubwoba cyangwa bikaba byamugiraho ingaruka mbi.” Urugero, gupfa kubwira umwana ko umuntu wapfuye asinziriye bishobora gutuma agira ubwoba, agatekereza ko najya kuryama nijoro atari bukanguke. Ushobora kumubwira gusa ko umuntu yakundaga wapfuye “yigendeye,” agahita yumva ko yamwangaga cyangwa ko yamutaye.

Ababyeyi biboneye ko gusobanurira umwana ibirebana n’urupfu ukoresheje amagambo yoroheje, nta guca ku ruhande, bituma abana bahita basobanukirwa kuruta gukoresha amagambo adahita yumvikanisha icyo ushaka kuvuga cyangwa gukoresha imvugo idahahamura umwana (1 Abakorinto 14:9). Abashakashatsi bagira ababyeyi inama yo gushishikariza abana babo kubaza ibibazo no kuvuga ibibahangayikishije. Kuganira n’umwana wawe kenshi bishobora kugufasha kumusobanurira ibyo atumva neza kandi bigatuma utahura ubundi buryo bwo kumufasha.

Isoko y’ubuyobozi yizewe

Mu gihe cy’agahinda, umwana wawe aba akeneye ko umwereka uko yifata, ukamutera inkunga kandi ugasubiza ibibazo yibaza. None se ni hehe wakura ibisobanuro byizewe ku bihereranye n’urupfu? Abantu benshi biboneye ko Bibiliya ari isoko yizewe y’ihumure n’ibyiringiro. Itanga ibisobanuro byumvikana neza ku birebana n’ukuntu urupfu rwabayeho, imimerere abapfuye barimo n’ibyiringiro dushobora kugira ku bihereranye n’abapfuye. Ukuri kudashidikanywaho ni uko ‘abapfuye nta cyo bakizi.’ Ibyo rero byagombye gufasha umwana wawe kubona ko umuntu yakundaga wapfuye atakibabara (Umubwiriza 9:5). Byongeye kandi, muri Bibiliya Imana itwizeza ko tuzongera kubona abacu twakundaga bapfuye mu isi izahinduka paradizo.—Yohana 5:28, 29.

Nutekereza ku Byanditswe Byera, ushobora kuzafasha umwana wawe kumenya ko Bibiliya itanga ubuyobozi bwizewe hamwe n’ihumure mu bihe by’akaga. Ariko kandi, umwana wawe azitegereza arebe niba wishingikiriza ku Ijambo ry’Imana kugira ngo rikuyobore mu bintu bikomeye uhura na byo mu mibereho yawe.—Imigani 22:6; 2 Timoteyo 3:15.

Ibibazo byawe bizasubizwa

Mu gihe ufasha umwana wawe guhangana n’ibyiyumvo byo gupfusha uwo yakundaga, ushobora guhura n’imimerere utazi icyo wakoraho. Icyo gihe wabigenza ute? * Reka dusuzume bimwe mu bibazo bisanzwe bishobora kuvuka.

• Ese nagombye guhisha umwana wanjye agahinda mfite? Ni ibisanzwe ko umuntu yifuza kurinda umwana we. Ariko se hari ikibi kirimo umwana wawe abonye ko ubabaye? Ababyeyi benshi biboneye ko ibyiza ari ukugaragaza akababaro, bityo ukereka umwana wawe ko kubabara ari ibintu bisanzwe. Bamwe bagiye baganira n’abana babo bakabereka ingero z’abantu bavugwa muri Bibiliya bagaragaje agahinda kabo. Urugero, Yesu yararize igihe incuti ye Lazaro yari yapfuye. Yesu ntiyahishe agahinda ke.—Yohana 11:35.

• Ese umwana wanjye yagombye kwifatanya mu mihango y’ihamba ibera mu rugo, ku irimbi cyangwa mu idini? Niba umwana agomba kuyifatanyamo, byaba byiza ubanje kumusobanurira ibyo azahabona ndetse n’impamvu uwo muhango w’idini wabaye. Birumvikana ko mu mimerere imwe n’imwe ababyeyi bashobora kubuza abana babo kujya ahabera iyo mihango cyangwa bakababuza kugira iyo bifatanyamo. Abana bajya mu muhango w’ihamba uyobowe n’Abahamya ba Yehova bashobora kungukirwa n’ibiganiro bishingiye kuri Bibiliya bihatangirwa. Nanone  kandi, “urukundo rurangwa n’ubwuzu” rugaragazwa n’ababa bari mu muhango w’ihamba, rushobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye ku mwana.—Abaroma 12:10, 15; Yohana 13:34, 35.

• Ese nagombye kuganira n’umwana wanjye ibirebana n’umuntu wacu twakundaga wapfuye? Abashakashatsi bamwe na bamwe bavuga ko iyo wanze kugira icyo uvuga kuri uwo muntu, umwana wawe ashobora gutekereza ko hari ikintu ushaka kumuhisha ku birebana n’uwo muntu wapfuye, cyangwa ko ushaka gutuma yibagirana burundu. Umwanditsi witwa Julia Rathkey agira ati “ni iby’ingenzi gufasha abana kujya bibuka uwo muntu kandi ntibamutinye.” Kuvuga ibirebana n’uwapfuye nta cyo wishisha, hakubiyemo no kuvuga imico ye myiza hamwe n’ibintu byiza byaranze imibereho ye, bishobora gutuma umwana yumva aruhutse. Ababyeyi b’Abahamya bahumuriza abana babo bababwira ibyiringiro Bibiliya itanga by’uko abantu bazazukira ku isi izahinduka paradizo, kandi ko muri iyo si nta rupfu cyangwa indwara bizahaba ukundi.—Ibyahishuwe 21:4.

• Ni gute nafasha umwana wanjye mu gihe agifite agahinda yatewe no gupfusha uwo yakundaga? Mu gihe umwana wawe agifite agahinda, ashobora kugaragaza ibimenyetso runaka, urugero nk’uburwayi. Umwana wawe ashobora kurakara cyangwa agahangayika bitewe n’uko yumva nta cyo yakora cyangwa yumva yacitse intege. Ntuzatungurwe no kubona umwana wawe yumva ko ari we watumye uwo muntu apfa. Nanone ashobora kugufata akakwizirikaho cyangwa akagira ubwoba bwinshi mu gihe watinze gutaha cyangwa mu gihe urwaye. Ni gute wafasha umwana wawe uri muri iyo mimerere? Ntibikwiriye ko umwana wawe yatekereza ko utiyumvisha ko ababaye. Bityo rero, ujye wita ku mimerere arimo kandi wiyumvishe uko umubabaro afite ungana. Jya wirinda gukekakeka cyangwa gupfobya ingaruka urupfu rwagize ku mwana wawe. Jya umuba hafi umuhumurize kandi umutere inkunga yo kukubaza icyo ashaka no kukubwira ibimuri ku mutima nta cyo agukinze. Ushobora gutuma wowe n’umwana wawe mugira ibyiringiro bihamye ‘binyuze ku ihumure rituruka mu Byanditswe.’—Abaroma 15:4.

• Ni gute natuma umuryango wanjye wongera gukora ibikorwa byawo bya buri munsi udatinze? Abahanga bavuga ko mwagombye kongera kujya mukora ibikorwa byanyu bya buri munsi kandi mugakora byinshi uko bishoboka kose. Abantu bavuga ko kongera kubaho nk’uko byari bisanzwe bituma umuntu ashira agahinda vuba. Hari ababyeyi benshi b’Abahamya ba Yehova babonye ko gukomeza kugira gahunda yo mu buryo bw’umwuka ya buri gihe, ikubiyemo kugira icyigisho cy’umuryango kidahindagurika no kujya mu materaniro ya gikristo, bishobora gutuma abagize umuryango batuza kandi bakikomeza.—Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:4-9; Abaheburayo 10:24, 25.

Rimwe na rimwe abana bazajya bahangana n’ingaruka ziterwa n’urupfu kugeza igihe Yehova Imana azavaniraho indwara n’urupfu (Yesaya 25:8). Icyakora, nitubahumuriza kandi tukabashyigikira, bizabafasha guhangana n’ikibazo cyo gupfusha uwo bakundaga.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 19]

Jya utera umwana wawe inkunga yo kubaza ibibazo no kuvuga ibimuhangayikishije

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 20]

Mujye mukora ibikorwa byanyu bya buri munsi, harimo n’icyigisho cya Bibiliya cy’umuryango