ESE waba urera umwana w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu? Niba ari uko bimeze, ugomba kuba wibonera ko icyo ari kimwe mu bihe bishishikaje cyane biranga imikurire y’umwana wawe. Nanone icyo gishobora kuba ari cyo kigero gihangayikisha cyane mu mikurire y’umwana. Ese ibintu nk’ibi bikurikira bijya bikubaho?

• Igihe umuhungu wawe yari akiri muto, yaguhoraga iruhande nk’uko biba bimeze iyo ubwato buziritse ku cyuma kiba ku cyambu. Ariko aho amariye kuba ingimbi, asigaye ameze nk’ubwato bukurura umugozi ubuziritse bushaka kugenda, kandi urabona bugiye kugusiga, mbese busa n’aho budashaka ko ujyana na bwo.

• Igihe umukobwa wawe yari akiri muto, yakubwiraga buri kantu kose. Ariko aho amariye kuba umwangavu, yishakiye izindi ncuti aganira na zo, kandi urareba ukabona we n’incuti ze badashobora kukwemerera kwifatanya na bo.

Niba ibintu nk’ibyo bijya biba iwawe, ntiwihutire kumva ko umwana wawe yarenze ihaniro. None se ubwo afite ikihe kibazo? Kugira ngo dusobanukirwe ikibazo afite, reka dusuzume uruhare rw’ingenzi igihe cy’amabyiruka kigira mu mikurire y’umwana wawe.

Iyo umwana amaze kuvuka, ibintu byose agenda ahura na byo biba ari bishya kuri we. Urugero, yiga gutera udutambwe, akiga kuvuga, agatangira ishuri n’ibindi. Ababyeyi barishima iyo umwana wabo ateye intambwe y’ingenzi mu mikurire ye. Ibyo biba bigaragaza ko agenda akura, kandi ababyeyi be baba babitegerezanyije amatsiko.

Igihe cy’amabyiruka na cyo ni igihe cy’ingenzi mu mikurire y’umwana, nubwo hari ababyeyi bahangayika iyo babonye abana babo bageze muri icyo kigero. Ariko kandi, impungenge zabo zirumvikana. None se ni nde mubyeyi wakwishimira kubona umwana we wajyaga amwumvira, akura agatangira kwigira indakoreka? Nubwo bimeze bityo, igihe cy’amabyiruka kiba ari igihe cy’ingenzi mu mikurire y’umwana. Mu buhe buryo?

Bibiliya ivuga ko hari igihe kigera ‘umuntu agasiga se na nyina’ (Itangiriro 2:24). Akamaro k’igihe cy’amabyiruka ni ugufasha umwana kwitegura icyo gihe azaba atakibana n’ababyeyi be. Icyo gihe uwo mwana yagombye kuba ashobora kuvuga amagambo nk’ayo intumwa Pawulo yavuze agira ati “nkiri uruhinja, navugaga nk’uruhinja, ngatekereza nk’uruhinja, nkibwira nk’uruhinja. Ariko ubu ubwo namaze kuba umugabo, nikuyemo  imico nk’iy’uruhinja.”—1 Abakorinto 13:11.

Urebye, ibyo bintu Pawulo yavuze ni byo umwana wawe aba akora mu gihe cy’amabyiruka. Aba arimo areka imico y’abana, akitoza kuba umuntu wakwibeshaho kandi ukuze ku buryo ashobora gusiga ababyeyi be akajya kuba wenyine. Hari igitabo cyasobanuye ko igihe cy’amabyiruka ari igihe abana bageze muri icyo gihe baba bitegura gusiga ababyeyi babo.

Mu by’ukuri, ubu bishobora kukugora kwiyumvisha ko umwana wawe ubona ko akiri muto, azagera igihe akigenga. Ushobora kwibaza uti

• “Niba umuhungu wanjye adashobora no gusukura icyumba abamo, azashobora ate kwita ku nzu yose?”

• “Niba umukobwa wanjye adashobora no kwibwiriza ngo yubahirize isaha yo gutaha, azashobora ate kubahiriza amasaha y’akazi?”

Niba ubuzwa amahwemo n’ibibazo nk’ibyo, ibuka ko kwigenga atari ikintu umuntu apfa kugeraho, nk’uko waba uri mu nzu maze ugakingura urugi ugahita ugera hanze. Ahubwo ni nk’urugendo umwana akora, akazagera iyo ajya hashize imyaka myinshi. Ukurikije ibyo wagiye ubona, ubu uzi neza ko “ubupfapfa buhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana.”—Imigani 22:15.

Icyakora, birashoboka ko umwana wawe nahabwa ubuyobozi bukwiriye, azakura akavamo umuntu ufite “ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu bwatojwe gutandukanya icyiza n’ikibi.”—Abaheburayo 5:14.

Kugira ngo utegurire umwana wawe kuzaba umuntu mukuru, ugomba kumufasha kugira ‘ubushobozi bwo gutekereza’ kugira ngo azashobore kwifatira imyanzuro myiza * (Abaroma 12:1, 2). Amahame ya Bibiliya akurikira, azagufasha kubigeraho.

Mu Bafilipi 4:5 hagira hati “gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose.” Tuvuge ko umwana wawe w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu agusabye uruhushya rwo kujya ataha akererewe, maze ugahita urumwima. Noneho umwana agahita asakuza ati “ariko kuki mumfata nk’umwana?” Mbere yo kumusubiza uti “ni uko wifata nka bo,” zirikana iki kintu: abana b’ingimbi n’abangavu baba bashaka uburenganzira buruta ubwo bakeneye; ariko ababyeyi na bo usanga baha abana babo uburenganzira budahagije ugereranyije n’ubwo baba bakwiriye guhabwa. Ese birashoboka ko wajya unyuzamo ugaha umwana wawe uburenganzira akeneye? Byaba byiza witaye no ku bitekerezo bye.

Mu Bakolosayi 3:21 hagira hati “babyeyi, ntimukabuze abana banyu amahwemo. Kuko muramutse mukabije kuba ba ntamunoza, bashobora kuzinukwa.”—International Children’s Bible. Hari ababyeyi bakabya kugenzura abana babo b’ingimbi n’abangavu. Babahozaho ijisho kugira ngo bamenye abo biriranwa n’ibyo baba bakora. Babahitiramo incuti kandi bakumviriza ibyo bavugana n’abandi kuri telefoni. Ariko incuro nyinshi ibyo nta cyo bimara. Kubahozaho ijisho bishobora gutuma batoroka, kandi guhora unenga incuti zabo, nta kindi bimara uretse gutuma barushaho kuzikunda. Kumviriza ibyo bavugana na bagenzi babo kuri telefoni na byo bishobora gutuma bashakisha uko bashyikirana n’incuti zabo rwihishwa. Uko ugenda urushaho kubacunga, ni ko bazarushaho kukunanira. Ubundi se niba batitoje kwifatira imyanzuro bakiri mu rugo, bazamenya bate kuyifata igihe bazaba bahavuye?

 Mu Befeso 6:4 hagira hati “ntimukarakaze abana banyu, ahubwo mukomeze kubarera mubahana nk’uko Yehova ashaka kandi mubatoza kugira imitekerereze nk’iye.” ‘Gutoza [umwana] kugira imitekerereze’ runaka, birenze kumuha amabwiriza. Bisobanura kumugera ku mutima ku buryo agira icyo ahindura ku bikorwa bye. Ibyo rero biba bikenewe cyane mu gihe umwana ageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka. Umubyeyi witwa Andre yaravuze ati “uko umwana wawe agenda akura, ni ko uba ugomba kurushaho kugira icyo uhindura mu buryo bwo gushyikirana na we maze ukajya umufasha gutekereza.”—2 Timoteyo 3:14.

Mu Bagalatiya 6:7 hagira hati ‘ibyo umuntu abiba ni na byo azasarura.’ Umwana ashobora kwigishwa hakoreshejwe igihano. Ushobora wenda kumubuza kugira aho ajya cyangwa ukamubuza gukora ikintu akunda. Ariko mu gihe ushaka guhana umwana w’ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu, wagombye gutekereza cyane ku gihano gituma yiyumvisha ingaruka z’ibyo yakoze.—Imigani 6:27.

Mubyeyi, birashoboka ko wifuza ko umwana wawe yakura akava mu gihe cy’amabyiruka, agahita aba umuntu mukuru bitamugoye. Icyakora, ibyo si ko bikunze kugenda. Uko byagenda kose, iyo umwana wawe ageze mu gihe cy’amabyiruka, uba ubonye uburyo bwiza cyane bwo ‘kumumenyereza inzira akwiriye kunyuramo’ (Imigani 22:6). Amahame yo muri Bibiliya ni urufatiro rukomeye washingiraho ufasha abagize umuryango wawe kugira ibyishimo.