Kali apapi ndiwu kanandi ayambanga kukambiya ŵana ŵawu nkhani zakukwaskana ndi kugonana. Ndipu aŵasambizanga kamanakamana mwakukoliyana ndi msinkhu wawu.

Kweni sonu vinthu vikusintha. Buku linyaki likukamba kuti: “Mazuŵa nganu nkhani zakugonana zawanda ukongwa mu vinthu vo ŵana aŵerenga ndi kuwonere, mwakuti chinanga angaja ŵana anamana ukongwa aziŵa vakukwaskana ndi kugonana.” (The Lolita Effect) Kumbi venivi vitiŵawovya ŵana pamwenga vitiŵanangiya limu?

Vinthu vakukwaskana ndi kugonana ve peposi. Deborah Roffman wakulemba mubuku laki kuti: “Vithuzi, mazu ndipuso vinthu vinyaki vakukwaskana ndi kugonana visanirika peposi, kaya asani ŵanthu acheza, mu mauthenga ngakusaska malonda, mu mafilimu, mabuku, sumu, pa TV, pa foni kweniso pa makompyuta, ndipu venivi vichitiska kuti [achinyamata ndipuso ŵana anamana] anandi awonengi kuti kugonana . . . ntchinthu chakukhumbika ukongwa pa umoyu.”—Talk to Me First

Akusaska malonda nawu ananga so vinthu. Amalonda asaska malaya nga ŵana ngo ngachitiska kuti awonekengi mwakukopa. Venivi vichitiska kuti ŵana aŵanaŵaniyengi ukongwa mo awoneke kutuliya ŵeche anamana. Buku linyaki likamba kuti, “akusaska malonda akopa ŵana chifukwa aziŵa kuti aswera cha kukopeka maŵanaŵanu. Yiwu agwiriskiya ntchitu vithuzi vakugonana kuti asambizi ŵana vakugonana cha, kweni kuti agulisi waka malonda ngawu.”—So Sexy So Soon.

Kuziŵa waka vinthu nkhwakukwana cha. Kumbi asani munthu waziŵa mo galimotu yigwiriya ntchitu, mbwenu ving’anamuwa kuti wangaŵa dilayivala wamampha? Awa! Mwakuyanana waka, kuziŵa vakukwaskana ndi kugonana, nkhwakupambana ukongwa ndi kugwiriskiya ntchitu vo uziŵa kuti usankhi vinthu mwakwenere.

Fundu yakukhumbika njakuti: Kuluska kali, mazuŵa nganu ndipu mukhumbika kuwovya ŵana ŵinu kuti asambizengi “lusu lawu la kuvwisa vinthu” kuti apambanisengi “pakati pa chamampha ndi chiheni.”—Aheberi 5:14.

Muchitengepu kanthu. Chinanga kuti vingaŵa vakuchitiska soni kweniso vakusuzga, kweni mukambiskanengi ndi ŵana ŵinu nkhani zakugonana chifukwa mbudindu winu.—Fundu ya mu Bayibolu: Nthanthi 22:6.

Kukambiskana nawu vinthu vinandi cha nyengu yimoza. Mumalu mwakukambiskana nawu vinthu vinanandi nyengu yimoza, mugwiriskiyengi ntchitu mpata wo usanirika asani mucheza. Mwakuyeruzgiyapu, mungakambiskana nawu asani mugwiriya limoza ntchitu zapakhomu. Muŵafumbengi mafumbu mwalusu kuti akukonkhoskiyeni vo yiwu aŵanaŵana. Mwakuyeruzgiyapu, mumalu mwakukamba kuti, “Kumbi yiwi utiviyanja vithuzi nge ivi?,” mungakamba kuti, “Kumbi uwona kuti ntchifukwa wuli ŵanthu wo asaska malonda atanja kugwiriskiya ntchitu vithuzi va mtundu uwu?” Asani wakumukani, mungamufumba kuti, “Nanga yiwi uwona wuli?”—Fundu ya mu Bayibolu: Dotoronome 6:6, 7.

Muŵanaŵaniyengi msinkhu wawu. Mungasambiza ŵana anamana mazina ngakwenere nga viŵalu vakubisika kweniso vo angachita kuti ajivikiliyi ku ŵanthu akukolere. Asani akuwa, mungaŵasambiza fundu zipusu zakukwaskana ndi kugonana kweniso kubala ŵana. Yichifika nyengu yakuti akuwa msinkhu, akhumbika kuti aziŵengi uneneska chayiwu pa nkhani ya kugonana kweniso vo yiwu angachita kuti asankhengi vinthu mwazeru.

Muŵasambizengi mijalidu yamampha. Mukhumbika kwamba kuŵasambiza mijalidu yamampha ŵana ŵinu ŵeche anamana, nge kuchita vinthu mwauneneska, kugomezgeka kweniso kutumbika ŵanthu. Venivi vingawovya kuti yichifika nyengu yo mupenja kukambiskana nawu nkhani zakugonana, aleki kusuzgika kuvwisa. Mukhumbika so kukambiya ŵana ŵinu mwakuvwika umampha fundu zo yimwi mutende. Mwakuyeruzgiyapu, asani muwona kuti ŵanthu akhumbika cha kugonana ŵechendatorani, akambiyeni. Akonkhoskiyeni so kuti ntchifukwa wuli kuchita venivi nkhuheni kweniso masuzgu ngaki. Buku linyaki likamba kuti, “Achinyamata anandi wo aziŵa kuti apapi ŵawu awona kuti kugonana mwechendatorani nkhuheni, atesesa kuja akugomezgeka.”—Beyond the Big Talk.

Jani chakuwoniyapu. Muchitengi vo yimwi mutiŵasambiza. Mwakuyeruzgiyapu mungajifumba kuti, kumbi ndiseka asani munthu munyaki wakamba nkhani zakugonana mwakusekesa? Kumbi ini ndichita vibwezi? Asani muchita venivi, ŵana ŵinu nawu angazilondo cha fundu zo mutiŵasambiza.—Fundu ya mu Bayibolu: Aroma 2:21.

Mungajaliyanga waka kuŵakambiya kuti kugonana nkhuheni cha. Kugonana ndi mphasu yakutuliya kwaku Chiuta ndipu ŵanthu wo akutorana akondwa ndi mphasu yeniyi. (Nthanthi 5:18, 19) Mumukambiyengi mwana winu kuti nayu nyengu yazamukwana ndipu wazamukondwa ndi mphasu yeniyi kwambula so kukumana ndi masuzgu nge ngo wangakumana nangu sonu asani wangayamba kugonana ndi munthu kwambula kutorana.—1 Timote 1:18, 19.