Cilibonya mbuli kuti kwainda buyo kaindi kasyoonto kuzwa ciindi mwanaanu naakali muvwanda. Lino mujisi mwana uuli aamyaka iibalilwa kuzwa a 9 kusika ku 13—masimpe, ucili mwana, pele uyanda kukubuka.

Ino inga mwamugwasya buti mwanaanu kuzunda kucinca ikunyonganya ikuboola akaambo kakukubuka?

Kukubuka kulijisi ciindi cankuko. Kulakonzya kutalika muntu akkwanya buyo myaka iili lusele naa 15. Bbuku litegwa Letting Go With Love and Confidence lyaamba kuti, “ciindi cakukubuka ncipati.”

Kukubuka kulakonzya kupa kulimvwa kutakwabililwa. Bakubusi balakonzya kulibilika kapati kujatikizya mbobababona bamwi. Mukubusi wazina lyakuti Jared wakaamba kuti: “Ndakatalika kubikkila maano mbondakali kuboneka alimwi ambondakali kucita zintu. * Nondakali kuba akati kabantu, ndakali kulibilika kuti ambweni bakali kuyeeya kuti ndasweeka.” Kulibilika kulakonzya kwiindila kuti muntu watalika kuba amfwula kumeso. Kellie uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 17 wakaamba kuti: “Ndakalimvwa kuti busyu bwangu bwalwanwa! Ndilayeeya nondakali kulila akulyaamba kuti ndili mubi.”

Aabo bafwambaana kukubuka balajana buyumuyumu. Eeci cilacitika kwaambisya kubasimbi, ciindi nobasekwa akaambo kakumena nkolo naa kucinca kwamubili mboulibonya. Ibbuku litegwa A Parent’s Guide to the Teen Years lyaamba kuti: “Bali muntenda yakuyandwa abasankwa bapati balo bazyi kale makani aakoonana.”

Kukubuka tacaambi kukomena. Lugwalo lwa Tusimpi 22:15, lwaamba kuti: “Bufwubafwuba bulaangidwe mumoyo wamwana.” Kukubuka takukonzyi kukacinca kaambo aaka. Bbuku lyakuti You and Your Adolescent lyaamba kuti, mwana ulakonzya kulibonya kuti wakomena, pele eeco “tacaambi kuti ulakonzya kusala cabusongo, kulilemeka kabotu, kulyeendelezya, naa kutondezya bube bumwi butondezya kukomena.”

Amubandike kujatikizya kukubuka kakutanatalika. Amumwaambile mwanaanu nceelede kulangila, kwaambisya makani aakuunka kumwezi (kubasimbi) alimwi akusuba bwaalumi kuŋonzi (kubasankwa). Kwiindana akucinca kucitika asyoonto-syoonto kwakukubuka, zintu eezyi zilatalika cakutayeeyela alimwi zilakonzya kunyonganya akuyoosya. Ciindi nomubandika makani aali boobu, amucibweze munzila iili kabotu—kukubuka kugwasya kubamba nzila yakukomena.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Intembauzyo 139:14.

Amwaambe cakutainda mumbali. Mukubusi uumwi wazina lya John wakaamba kuti: “Ciindi bazyali bangu nobakali kubandika andime ‘kujatikizya kukubuka,’ bakali kwiinda mumbali. Ndilombozya kuti nobatakali kwiinda mumbali.” Alana uujisi myaka iili 17, awalo wakalimvwa mbubwenya oobo. Wakaamba kuti: “Bamaama bakandigwasya kuzyiba cakali kucitika kumubili wangu, pele ndilombozya kuti nobakandigwasya mbondikonzya kuliyumya kujatikizya mbondilimvwa.” Ino nciiyo nzi ncomwaiya? Nokuba kuti inga kacipa nsoni, amubandike amwanaanu kujatikizya mbazu zyoonse zyakukubuka.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Milimo 20:20.

Amubuzye mibuzyo iikonzya kupa kuti mutalike kubandika. Kutegwa aambe zili mumoyo wakwe, amwaambaule kujatikizya zyakabacitikila bamwi aciimo cakukubuka. Mucikozyanyo, inga mwamubuzya mwanaanu musimbi kuti, “Sena taakwe basicikolonyoko bakatalika kale kwaamba zyakuunka kumwezi?” “Sena bana balabaseka basimbi bakubuka cakufwambaana?” Inga mwamubuzya mwanaanu musankwa kuti, “Sena bana balabaseka basankwa bamuka kukubuka?” Ciindi bakubusi nobatalika kwaambaula kujatikizya kukubuka kwabamwi, cilakonzya kubaubaubila kwaamba mbobalimvwa alimwi azyakabacitikila. Ciindi nobacita boobo, amutobele lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele lwakuti: ‘Amufwambaane kuswiilila, akumuka kwaambaula.’—Jakobo 1:19.

Amubagwasye bana banu kuba “abusongo bugwasya alimwi akuyeeya kabotu.” (Tusimpi 3:21) Kukubuka takujatikizyi buyo kucinca kwamubili alimwi ambwalimvwa muntu. Aciimo nciconya eeci mwanaanu ulatalika kuba amizeezo iimwi iikonzya kumugwasya kusala kabotu aakukomena. Amucibelesye kabotu ciindi eeci kuyiisya mwanaanu mbwakonzya kulilemeka kabotu.—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Bahebrayo 5:14.

Mutatyompwi. Bakubusi banji balamvwa butolo kubandika abazyali babo kujatikizya kukubuka, pele muteenwi pe. Bbuku litegwa You and Adolescent lyaamba kuti: “Bakubusi balicengeezya kutayanda kubandika, kumvwa butolo, kubijilwa, naa kutaswiilila balakonzya kwaabikka mumutwe majwi woonse.”