Nzila Zikonzya Kupa Mukwasyi

 Kukkomana Kubandika Abana Bakubuka

“Kaindi tiicakali kundikatazya kubandika amwanaangu musankwa, pele lino mbwali amyaka 16, cilandikatazya mebo abalumi bangu kuzyiba ncayeeya. Bunji bwaziindi uyanda buyo kukkala alikke muŋanda yakwe alimwi taambauli andiswe!”—BA MIRIAN, BAKU MEXICO.

“Kaindi, bana bangu bakali kundimvwida. Bakali kundiswiilila! Mazuba aano, nibakubuka, bayeeya kuti zyintu zyindibaambila tazicibeleki.”—BA SCOTT, BAKU AUSTRALIA.

IKUTI naa mujisi mwana mukubusi, mulakonzya kubateelela bazyali baambwa atala aawa. Ambweni kaindi tiicakali kumukatazya kubandika amwanaanu. Pele lino kuboneka kuti zyintu zyakacinca. Mutumbu umwi waku Italy wazyina lya Angela wakati: “Naakacili muniini, mwanaangu musankwa wakali kundibuzya mibuzyo minji. Pele mazuba aano ndime ndeelede kutalisya mubandi. Ikuti tiindacita oobo, imazuba alakonzya kwiinda kakunyina kubandika twaambo tugwasya.”

Mbuli Angela, ambweni andinywe mubona kuti mwanaanu iwakali kulikwaya kwaambaula, mazuba aano naakubuka taambauli-ambauli. Kufwumba nomusola kubandika anguwe, ambweni walo tavwiili akabotu. Nomwaanzya mwanaanu musankwa kuti “Walibizya buti?” ambweni ulavwiila buyo kuti “kabotu” katabikkide amaano. Nomubuzya mwanaanu musimbi kuti “Kwali buti kucikolo?” ambweni cakutabikkila maano walo ulavwiila kuti “nsyezyi.” Nomusola kumubuzya mibuzyo imbi kutegwa muzumanane kubandika, ambweni walo tavwiili akuvwiila.

Masimpe, ibakubusi bamwi tabajisi penzi kumakani aakubandika. Pele balaakwaamba zyintu zitabakkomanisyi bazyali. Mutumbu umwi waku Nigeria wazyina lya Edna wakati: “Nindakali kwaambila mwanaangu musimbi kucita cintu cimwi, bunji bwaziindi wakali kundivwiila kuti ‘amundileke mutandikatazyi.’” Ba Ramón baku Mexico abalo bakaamba kaambo kakozyenye akaaka ikujatikizya mwanaabo musankwa uli amyaka iili 16. Bakati: “Bunji bwaziindi tulaakukazyanya. Kufwumbwa ndamwaambila kucita cintu cimwi, ulatongooka.”

Ikusola kubandika amwana mukubusi kulakonzya kubatyompya bazyali. Nkakaambo kaako Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti “makanze alasinkinizigwa na kwabula lulayo.” (Tusimpi 15:22) Anna, imuzyali uuli alikke waku Russia wakati: “Necindikatazya kuzyiba ncayeeya mwanaangu, ndilaakunyema kapati cakuti ndiyanda kumubwentela.” Ino ncinzi cipa kuti ibakubusi—abazyali babo—kacibaalila kubandika kabotu nokuyandika?

Izyintu Zipa Kuti Kacikatazya Kubandika Kabotu

Nzinji ziyandika kutegwa kamubandika kabotu. Jesu wakaamba kuti ‘mulomo waamba zizwide mumoyo.’ (Luka 6:45) Aboobo kwiinda mukubandika kabotu, tulakonzya kwiiya kulibamwi akubaambila mbotuyeeya. Caboola kukwaamba mbotuyeeya, ibakubusi balakonzya kujana buyumu-yumu akaambo kakuti ciindi nobakubuka nobaba bana balikwaya kwaambaula balakonzya kutalika kufwa nsoni. Bahaazibwene baamba kuti  bunji bwaziindi bakubusi bayeeya kuti lyoonse kuli uubalanga akubapa milandu. Kutegwa kutabi muntu uubalangilila lyoonse, bakubusi bamwi balakonzya kuyeeya kuti cilainda kubota kulizandula kubazyali babo.

Ikaambo kamwi kakonzya kupa kuti cikatazye kubandika abakubusi ndileelyo nobayanda kulikkalila naa kulyeendelezya. Eeci tacili ceenzu akaambo kakuti mwanaanu ukomena buya aboobo uyanda kulikkalila. Nokuba boobo, eeci tacaambi kuti mwanaanu mukubusi ulilibambide kulikkalila. Kuli zyintu zinji zyomuyandika kumugwasya. Pele muntu woonse ulaakuyanda kulikkalila kakucili myaka minji buya kuti asike aciimo cakukomena. Mbobayaabukomena, ibakubusi banji balayanda kulisalila cakucita kabatana aambila bamwi mbobayeeya.

Masimpe, ibana bakubuka kanji-kanji tabalizanduli kubeenzinyina—eeci ncaakabona awalo mutumbu waku Mexico wazyina lya Jessica. Wakati: “Mwanaangu musimbi naakacili muniini, lyoonse wakali kundaambila mapenzi ngaakali kujana. Pele aano mazuba waambila beenzinyina.” Ikuti naa oobu mbwacita mwanaanu mukubusi, mutayeeyi kuti tamuyandi pe. Muciindi caboobo, buvwuntauzi butondezya kuti bakubusi balayanda kulaigwa abazyali babo kutali abeenzinyina nokuba kuti zimwi ziindi tabalitondezyi oobo. Pele, ino mbuti mbomukonzya kuzumanana kubandika kabotu?

Mbomukonzya Kubandika Kabotu—Kugusya Zyintu Zimusinkila

Amweezyeezye kuti mweenzya mootokala mumugwagwa usuumene. Kwamakkilomita manji mwali kuunyona buyo aniini mubalo. Kumane mugwagwa wanyona. Kutegwa mootokala wanu uzumanane kweendela mumugwagwa, mweelede kuunyona mubalo. Ncimwi buyo aleelyo mwanaanu nakubuka. Kwamyaka minji, ambweni mwali kubandika kabotu amwanaanu. Pele lino ibuumi bwamwanaanu bwacinca aboobo mweelede kucinca nzila nzyomwali kubelesya mukubandika mbubonya mbomukonzya kuunyona mubalo ikuti mugwagwa wanyona. Amulibuzye mibuzyo iitobela.

▪ ‘Ikuti mwanaangu musankwa naa musimbi kayanda kubandika, sena ndilaswiilila?’ Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Mbuli micelo yangolida mucisuwo cansiliva, mbwaabede majwi aambwa kuciindi ceelede.” (Tusimpi 25:11) Mbubonya lugwalo oolu mbolutondezya, iciyandika nkuzyiba nomweelede kubandika. Mucikozyanyo: Mulimi teelede kufwambaana naa kumuka kutebula zisyango zyakwe. Pele casika ciindi cakutebula weelede kufwundumana kubeleka. Ncimwi buyo, ambweni kuli ciindi mwanaanu mukubusi nalikwaya kwaambaula. Ikuti naa mboobo, amumupe ciindi cakwaamba. Mutumbu umwi wazyina lya Frances waku Australia wakati: “Bunji bwaziindi, mwanaangu musimbi wakali kuboola masiku kuzyuli, zimwi ziindi wakali kukkala kwawoola. Ibwini mbwakuti nseyandi kwiizya ciindi cilamfwu masiku, aboobo cakali kundikatazya. Pele nokuba boobo, twakali kubandika twaambo tunji.”

AMUSOLE NZILA EEZYI: Ikuti mwanaanu mukubusi kaboneka kuti tayandi kubandika, amucite cintu cimwi antoomwe mbuli koolola maulu, kuya bweendeenda amootokala, kusobana cisobano cimwi naa kucita tulimo-limo tumwi twaaŋanda. Kanji-kanji, ikucita zyintu zili boobu kamulikwaide kupa kuti bakubusi baanguluke kubandika.

▪ ‘Sena ndilaakubona mbwalimvwa mwanaangu muciindi cakubikkila buyo maano kuzyintu zyaamba?’ Lugwalo lwa Jobo 12:11 kweelana a The Bible in Tonga yamu 1996 lwaamba kuti: “Sena kutwi takusoli majwi mbuli mulaka mbuusola cakulya?” Kwiinda lyoonse, lino muyandika kuzimvwisya nzyaamba mwanaanu musankwa naa musimbi. Bunji bwaziindi bakubusi balaakwaamba zyintu mbuli kuti lyoonse mbozicitika. Mucikozyanyo, mwanaanu musankwa naa musimbi ulakonzya kwaamba kuti: “Lyoonse mundaambila mbuli kuti ndili mwana muniini!” naa “Lyoonse tamundiswiilila nindaambaula!” Muciindi cakutalika kukazyanya akaambo kajwi lyakuti “lyoonse,” ambweni muyandika kuzyiba cini ncapandulula mwanaanu. Mucikozyanyo, naamba kuti “Lyoonse mundaambila mbuli kuti ndili mwana muniini” inga kapandulula kuti “Ndiyeeya kuti tamundisyomi,” alimwi naamba kuti “Lyoonse tamundiswiilila nindaambaula” inga kapandulula kuti “Ndiyanda kumwaambila bwini mbondilimvwide.” Amusole  kubona kaambo kamupa kwaamba boobo mwanaanu.

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Mwanaanu mukubusi naamba kaambo katali kamasimpe, mulakonzya kwaamba kuti: “Ndabona kuti watyompwa kumakani aaya, kondaambila mboyeeya. Nkaambo nzi kakupa kuyeeya kuti ndilaakukubona mbuli kuti mwana muniini?” Mpoonya amumuswiilile kakunyina kumunjila mukanwa.

▪ ‘Sena cakutazyiba ndipa kuti cikatazye kubandika kabotu amwanaangu akaambo kakuti ndimusinikizya buya kwaambaula?’

Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Basiluumuno basyanga muluumuno balatebula micelo yabululami.” (Jakobo 3:18) Kwiinda muzyintu nzyomwaamba akucita, amusoleke kuba ‘aluumuno’ kutegwa mwanaanu mukubusi aanguluke kwaambaula. Kamuyeeya kuti, mukuli wanu wakumugwasya mwana. Aboobo, nomubandika kaambo kamwi amwanaanu, mutani kwaambauli mbuli kuti mumubeteka buya naa kumoombolozya. Usyi bana waku Korea wazyina lya Ahn wakaamba kuti: “Muzyali musongo kunyina naamba twaambo mbuli twakuti, ‘Konga kokomena cana’ naa, ‘Sena matwi aayo akasinka?’ Nindakali kubelesya majwi aali boobu, bana bangu basankwa zyakali kubacima zindakali kubaambila ambundakali kuzyaamba.”

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Ikuti mwanaanu mukubusi katayandi kubuzyigwa, amusole nzila imbi. Mucikozyanyo, kutegwa muzyibe ncaali kucita mwanaanu musimbi ibuzuba oobo, amumwaambile nzyomwali kucita nywebo mpoonya amumupe ciindi ikuti kayanda kwaamba cili coonse. Ikuti naa muyanda kuzyiba mbwayeeya mwanaanu kujatikizya makani aamwi, amumubuzye mbobayeeya bamwi kumakani aayo muciindi cakulonda akubuzya nguwe. Amumubuzye mbwayeeya mweenzinyina kumakani aayo. Mwamana amumubuzye mbwakonzya kumugwasya mweenzinyina.

Kubandika abana bakubuka tacikatazyi cakuti tamukonzyi kujana nzila. Amusole kucinca nzila nzyomubelesya nomubandika abana banu kweelana aziyandika aciindi eeco. Amubandike abazyali bamwi kutegwa bamwaambile mbobakacikonzya kubandika abana babo. (Tusimpi 11:14) Nomubandika amwanaanu musankwa naa musimbi ‘amufwambaane kuswiilila, pele mutafwambaani kwaamba nikuba kunyema.’ (Jemusi 1:19, BT) Icipati ncakuti tamweelede kutyompwa naa kuleka kubalela bana banu bakubusi “mulwiiyo lwa-Mwami amumilazyo yakwe.”—Ba-Efeso 6:4.

AMULIBUZYE KUTI . . .

▪ Kuzwa ciindi mwanaangu naakakubuka, ino nkucinca kuli buti nkondabona?

▪ Mbuti mbondikonzya kucizyiba kubandika kabotu?

Kabbokesi kali apeeji 20]

Twaambo Tugwasya Ntobakaamba Bazyali

“Mwanaangu musankwa ulaambaula cakulikwaya notuli abamwi. Aboobo, twaba tolikke, ndilazumanana kubandika twaambo ntutwali kubandika abamwi.”—BA ANGELA, BAKU ITALY.

“Ncotwabona ncakuti bana besu balaanguluka kubandika andiswe ikuti twasaanguna kubalumbaizya akubaambila kuti tulabayanda kapati.”—BA DONIZETE, BAKU BRAZIL.

“Ndakabandika abantu bakagwasyigwa abazyali babo ibakali kutobela ncolyaamba Bbaibbele alimwi ndakababuzya mbobakali kulimvwa nibakali bakubusi. Eeci cakandigwasya kuba aluzyibo.”—BA DAWN, BAKU BRITAIN.