NZILA ZIKONZYA KUPA MUKWASYI KUKKOMANA

Mbomukonzya Kweendelana Abantu Batali Mumukwasyi Wanu Wakujana

MARGARET, * BANYINA BAKUJANA BAKU AUSTRALIA: “Mukaintu ngobakaleka balumi bangu wakaambila bana kuti batanoondimvwidi—nociba ciindi nondibaambila kuti ‘Mutalubi kulicumba menyo.’” Ba Margaret balimvwa kuti cikwati cabo cili mupenzi akaambo kakusola kubaandaanya ooku.

Mumikwasyi imuli bana alimwi abazyali bakujana kanji-kanji muli mapenzi aajatikizya mbobamvwana abaabo batali mumukwasyi ooyo. * Bazyali banji bakujana beelede kubandika abazyali bamuzyala mwana caboola kumakani aakuswaya, kulaya bana, alimwi amali aakugwasya bana. Balongwe abacibbululu abalo cilakonzya kubayumina kuzibilana amuzyali mupya alimwi abana bakuletelezya ibali mumukwasyi. Amulange-lange lulayo lwamu Bbaibbele mbolukonzya kugwasya mukwasyi wanu kuzunda mapenzi aaya.

KUYANZANA KWAKUSAANGUNA: MUZYALI UUMBI UUZYALA MWANA

Muzyali wakujana waku Namibia wazyina lya Judith wakaamba kuti: “Banyina babana bangu bakujana bakaambila bana kuti mebo ndili buyo mukaintu mupya wabausyi alimwi akuti bana mbotukonzya kuzyala abausyi tabakonzyi kuba banabokwabo. Majwi aabo akandicisa  kapati nkaambo ndilabayanda bana bangu bakujana mbuli kuti mbibangu.”

Basyaabupampu baamba kuti muzyali wakujana mbwayanzana amuzyali uumbi uuzyala mwana cilakonzya kupa kuti mukwasyi waandaane. Kanji-kanji, ibalaapenzi mbaanyina bazyala mwana abanyina bakujana. Ncinzi cikonzya kugwasya?

Mbomunga mwazwidilila: Amubikke milawo iitakatazyi kutobela. Kuti kamutamuzumizyi muzyali uumbi kujatikizyigwa muzyintu zijatikizya mwanaakwe, mwanaanu ulakonzya kupenga mumizeezo. * ‘Bazyali ibakamuzyala mwana,’ balaabusena bulibedelede muzyintu zijatikizya mwana. (Tusimpi 23:22, 25) Kulubazu lumwi, kuti muntu ngomwakalekana kamumuzumizya kunjilila kapati mumakani aamumukwasyi, mulakonzya kumutyompya naa kumunyemya ngomukwetene limwi mupya. Mutanoociindizyi kucita zyintu, amubikke milawo iitakatazyi kutobela kutegwa mukwabilile cikwati canu, aciindi nciconya kamubelekela antoomwe amuzyali uumbi uuzyala mwana kweelana ambomukonzya.

TWAAMBO TUKONZYA KUGWASYA BAZYALI

▪ Ciindi nomubandika amuntu ngomwakakwetene limwi, amubikkile maano kubandika buyo makani aajatikizya bana banu akucesya kubandika makani amwi. Mucikozyanyo, cabupampu mulakonzya kulomba kuti kubikkwe ciindi cigaminide cakutuminana fooni syikati kuti kacikonzyeka. Eeco inga cagwasya kwiinda kutuma fooni aciindi cili coonse naa masiku.

▪ Kuti kamutakkali abana banu, ambweni mulakonzya kubelesya fooni yakumaanza, kulembelana magwalo, tugwalo twaafooni, naa tugwalo twa e-mail kubandika ambabo. (Deuteronomo 6:6, 7) Bamwi mane balabandika kumwi kababwenene kwiinda mukubelesya kkompyuta. Mulakonzya kuzizyiba kabotu nzyobayandika bana banu alimwi amapenzi aabo—akubapa lulayo lubotu lukonzya kubagwasya—kwiinda mbomuyeeyela.

TWAAMBO TUKONZYA KUGWASYA MUZYALI MUKAINTU UUJISI BANA BAKUJANA

▪ ‘Amubeetelele’ banyina bana kwiinda mukubaambila kuti bacili bana babo. (1 Petulo 3:8) Lyoonse kamubaambila mbobabede bana babo, kwaambisya kubaambila zyintu zibotu nzyobacita. (Tusimpi 16:24) Amubalombe kuti bamwaambile nzyomukonzya kucita kutegwa kamukkala kabotu abana babo, alimwi kuti naa bacita oobo, amubalumbe.

▪ Mutaciindizyi kutondezya luyando kubana kuti banyina kabaliko. Ba Beverly, muzyali mukaintu uujisi bana bakujana uukkala ku United States wakaamba kuti: “Bana bangu bakujana bakali kuyanda kuti kabandiita kuti baama. Ndakabaambila kuti cili buyo kabotu kuti kabandiita oobo twanooli aŋanda yesu pele kutali ciindi nobaliko ba Jane, banyina, naa bamukwasyi wabo. Kuzwa leelyo mebo aba Jane twakatalika kumvwana. Mpoonya twakatalika kubagwasya bana antoomwe alimwi akweendela antoomwe munyendo zyakucikolo.”

TWAAMBO TUKONZYA KUGWASYA BAZYALI BAZYALA BANA ALIMWI ABAZYALI BAKUJANA KUTI KABAMVWANA

▪ Mutanoomutongooki muzyali wabana naa muzyali wakujana kuti katawo kumwi bana kabamvwide. Ncuuba-uba kutalika kwaamba zyintu zibyaabi, pele eeci cipa mwana kutyompwa kapati. Alimwi tamukonzyi kuzyiba majwi aanu mbwaakonzya kwiindulukwa naa ciindi naakonzya kwiindulukwa. (Mukambausi 10:20) Ikuti mwana waamba kuti muzyali uumbi uuzyala mwana naa muzyali uujisi bana bakujana wakaamba zyintu  zibi kujatikizya ndinywe, amubikkile maano kujatikizya mbwalimvwa mwana. Ambweni mulakonzya kwaamba buyo kuti: “Cabija kuti naa wakazimvwa nzyobakali kwaamba. Banyoko balinyemede akaambo kandime, alimwi zimwi ziindi kuti bantu kabanyemede, balaamba zyintu zitali kabotu.”

▪ Amusole kubikka milawo iitacinci-cinci alimwi alulayo mumikwasyi yoonse yobilo. Ikuti eeci kacitakonzyeki, amupandulule kaambo ncokuli lwiindano kakunyina kufwubaazya muzyali uumbi. Amulange-lange bukkale oobu butobela:

Banyina bakujana: Tim, bweza cisani cako eeco citete ucaanzike mujulu.

Tim: Kuli baama tuzisiya buyo aansi, mpoonya balo mbibazibweza akuzyaanzika mujulu.

Banyina bakujana (cabukali): Bakuyiisya buyo butolo.

Sena bwiinguzi oobu inga bwagwasya?

Banyina bakujana (cakukkazyika moyo): Eena, pele okuno aumwi ulalyaanzikila.

▪ Mutanoobapi zyakucita bana banu ciindi nobeelede kuba antoomwe amuzyali wabo uumbi. (Matayo 7:12) Ikuti kamutakonzyi kucinca nzyomuyanda kucita abana aciindi eeco, mweelede kusaanguna kulomba kumuzyali wabo uumbi kamutanabaambila bana nzyomuyanda kucita.

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Amukatobele nzila eezyi ciindi mwaakuswaangana amuntu wakakwetene amukaintu naa amulumaanu:

1. Amumulange akumweta-mweta. Mutalibonyi kuusa, alimwi mutamulangi cakunyansya.

2. Amumwaanzye kwiinda mukumwaamba zyina lyamwana. Mucikozyanyo, amwaambe kuti “Kamwaamba bina Jane.”

3. Amumubikkilizye mumubandi kuti kamuli banji.

KUYANZANA KWABILI: BANA BAPATI

Ibbuku lyakuti Step Wars lyaamba mukaintu umwi wakali kutongooka kuti balumi bakwe bakali kuba kulubazu lomwe abana babo bapati alimwi akukaka kuti bana babo tabamulemeki. Wakaamba kuti: “Ndilafwambaana kunyema.” Ino inga mwacita buti kutegwa kamweendelana abana bapati kutegwa cikwati canu citanyongani?

Nzila iikonzya kugwasya kutegwa muzwidilile: Amube aaluzyalo. Ibbaibbele lyaamba kuti: “Umwi aumwi kayandisya kugwasya bamwi ikutali buyo kuligwasya lwakwe mwini.” (1 Bakolinto 10:24) Amusole kumvwisya alimwi akuzyiba mbwalimvwa muntu uumbi. Bana bakujana bapati balakonzya kuyoowa kuti muzyali wabo ulaleka kubayanda. Ambweni balakonzya kulimvwa kuti kumvwana amuzyali wakujana nkutasyomeka kumukwasyi wabo wakusaanguna. Kuyungizya waawo, abalo bazyali balakonzya kuyoowa kuti kunyemena bana babo inga kwapa kuti bana babatantamuke.

Muciindi cakusungilizya bana bakujana kuba balongwe banu, amubaleke bamuyande cakuliyandila. Tacili camaano kusungilizya muntu kuti amuyande kuzwa ansi aamoyo. (Lwiimbo lwa Solomoni 8:4) Aboobo amulangile buyo zyintu nzyobakonzya kucita caboola kumakani aakumvwana abana banu bakujana.

Mutanooambi zyintu zyoonse nzyomuyeeya naa mbomulimvwa, nokuba kuti balamupenzya. (Tusimpi 29:11) Ikuti casika mpocimukatazya kulijata mukwaambaula, amupaile mbuli mbwaakacita Mwami Davida waku Israyeli kuti: “Bika cijazyo kumulomo wangu, O Jehova; jata mulyango wamilomo yangu.”—Intembauzyo 141:3.

Ikuti mwasala kunookkala muŋanda mobakakomenena bana, inga mwagambwa kubona mbobaiyandisya ŋanda eeyo. Amusole kutacinca-cinca zyintu, kwaambisya mumaluumu aabo. Kunze lyaboobo, alimwi mulakonzya kulongela kuŋanda iimbi.

 AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Ikuti bana bakujana bapati lyoonse kabatamuyandi naa kabatamulemeki, amumwaambile mbomulimvwa ngomukwetene limwi alimwi amuswiililisye ciindi naamba mizeezo yakwe. Mutamusungilizyi ngomukwetene limwi kululamika bana. Muciindi caboobo, amusole kumvwana nywebo nyobilo. ‘Mwamvwana’ kujatikizya bukkale oobu, mulakonzya kubelekela antoomwe kutegwa mulimane penzi eeli.—2 Bakolinto 13:11.

KUYANZANA KWATATU: BACIBBULULU BAMBI ALIMWI ABALONGWE

Ba Marion, muzyali wakujana iwakucisi ca Canada, wakati: “Bazyali bangu kanji-kanji bakali kupa mwanaangu zipego pele kutali bana bamulumaangu. Twakali kusola kubaulila zipego swebo lwesu, pele zimwi ziindi tiitwakali kucikonzya kubaulila.”

Nzila iikonzya kugwasya kutegwa muzwidilile: Mukwasyi wanu mupya amuubikke mubusena bwakusaanguna. Amubaambile babbululu banu abalongwe banu kuti mulayandisisya kuubikkila maano mukwasyi wanu mupya. (1 Timoteyo 5:8) Nokuba kuti inga tiimwalangila kuyandwa mpoonya-mpoonya abacibbululu alimwi abalongwe bamukwasyi mupya, mulakonzya kubalomba kuti kabamulemeka alimwi akumulanga munzila yeelede. Amupandulule mbobakonzya kubijilwa bana ikuti kabatabikkilwi maano alimwi akuti kabatatondezyegwi luse.

Amusole kubona kuti bamakaapa babana mbomwakazyala kucikwati cakusaanguna balijisi lwaanguluko lwakuyanzana abana banu. Muzyali mukaintu waku England uutegwa Susan wakaamba kuti: “Nokwakainda myezi iili 18 kuzwa ciindi balumi bangu bakusaanguna nobakafwa, ndakakwatwa alimwi, pele bazyali babo cakabakatazya kubayanda balumi bangu bapya. Zyintu zyakaba kabotu ciindi notwakatalika kubabikkilizya muzyintu nzyotwakali kucita, twakali kutuma bana kuyoobaswaya, alimwi twakali kubalumba akaambo kalugwasyo ndobakali kupa.”

AMUSOLE NZILA EEYI: Amuzyibe naa nguuli mulongwe naa wacibbululu ngomutamvwani kabotu, mpoonya amubandike angomukwetene limwi mbomukonzya kutalika kumvwana amuntu ooyo.

Mbomulangana abantu batali mumukwasyi wanu kulakonzya kuleta buyumuyumu mumukwasyi wanu imuli bana bakujana naa bazyali bakujana. Pele amubelesye lulayo lwamu Magwalo, kwiinda mukucita oobo mukwasyi wanu ulakonzya kutambula cilongezyo ncolisyomezya Bbaibbele cakuti: “Iŋanda ilayasigwa busongo, ilaimikwa amaanu.”—Tusimpi 24:3.

[Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe]

AMULIBUZYE KUTI . . .

▪ Ino inga ndacita buti kutegwa katumvwana amuntu wakakwetene amukaangu naa amulumaangu?

▪ Mbuti mbotukonzya kugwasya bacibbululu naa balongwe besu kutegwa batanyonganyi mukwasyi wesu acaali nokuba cakutazyiba?

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Mulakonzya kucita zyintu zibajatikizya kapati bana banu kwiinda mbomuyeeya

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 12]

Kulicesya akulilemeka kulagwasya kubamba luumuno

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Amubayande bana boonse bali mumukwasyi