Sɛ aware bɛsɔ a, ɛsɛ sɛ ɔbaa ne okunu nyinaa kyerɛ nneɛma ho anisɔ. Nanso awarefo pii wɔ hɔ a edu baabi a nneɛma pa a wɔn hokafo yɛ no, wonhu na kampɛsɛ wɔakyerɛ ho anisɔ. Aware ho fotufo bi kaa wɔ nhoma bi mu sɛ, sɛ awarefo ba ne nkyɛn a, “nea wonnya [wɔ wɔn aware mu] nko ara na wɔka ho asɛm. Nea wonya no deɛ, wɔmmɔ so. Sɛ wɔbɛtena m’anim a, nea wɔpɛ sɛ ɛsesa wɔ wɔn aware mu nko ara na wɔyɛ ho dede. Nea wɔn ani gye ho no deɛ, wɔnka ho asɛm. Wɔn nyinaa haw ne sɛ nea wɔn hokafo yɛ ma wɔn no, wɔnyɛ biribi mfa nkyerɛ sɛ wɔn ani sɔ, enti ɛmma wonhu sɛ wɔdɔ wɔn ho.”—Emotional Infidelity.

Sɛ woyɛ ɔwarefo a, dɛn na wo ne wo hokafo betumi ayɛ de adi ɔhaw yi ho dwuma?

Sɛ mokyerɛ nneɛma ho anisɔ a, ɛbɛma mo ntam ayɛ kama. Sɛ ɔbaa ne okunu bɔ mmɔden sɛ obiara de n’adwene besi nneɛma pa a ne yɔnko yɛ so, na ɔka ho asɛm a ɛma wɔn aware sɔ. Sɛ awarefo taa kyerɛ nneɛma ho anisɔ, na sɛ abufuw mpo ba wɔn ntam a, etumi dwudwo ano.

Ɔyere. Nhoma a yɛadi kan aka ho asɛm no san kaa sɛ, “Mmarima pii biri wɔn mogya ani ansa na wɔatumi ahwɛ wɔn mmusua, nanso wɔn yerenom nhu.” (Emotional Infidelity) Mmusua bi wɔ hɔ a mmaa no nso yɛ adwuma, nanso ne nyinaa akyi ɛnna fam mma mmarima no.

Okunu. Mmaa pii yere wɔn ho yɛ nnwuma, wɔtete mmofra, na wɔyɛ fie nnwuma, nanso wɔn kununom ntaa nhu. Ɔbaa bi a ɔde Fiona * aware bɛyɛ mfe mmiɛnsa ni. Ɔkaa sɛ, “Yɛn mu biara tumi fom ne yɔnko, na sɛ mefom a, etumi haw me paa. Enti sɛ meyɛ biribi, te sɛ efie nnwuma, na me kunu kamfo me a, ɛma mihu sɛ nea mintumi nyɛ nyinaa akyi mpo ɔda so ara dɔ me. Mihu nso sɛ odwen me ho, na ɛma m’ani gye!”

Mmom, sɛ okunu anaa ɔyere te nka sɛ nea ɔbɛyɛ biara nyɛ ne hokafo fɛ a, ebetumi ama aware no agyigya. Valerie yɛ ɔbaa warefo, na nea ɔkae ni: “Sɛ wote nka sɛ nea woyɛ biara nsɔ wo hokafo ani, na sɛ obi foforo ma wuhu sɛ ɔno deɛ n’ani sɔ wo a, anhwɛ a w’ani bɛkɔ akodi n’akyi.”

Fa w’ani to fam. Fa nnawɔtwe baako si hɔ, na hwɛ suban pa a wo hokafo yi no adi no. Afei, fa w’ani to fam na ama woahu nneɛma a ɔyɛ boa ma biribiara kɔ so pɛpɛɛpɛ wɔ fie no. Ebetumi mpo ayɛ nneɛma bi a woabu w’ani agu so abesi sesɛɛ. Nnawɔtwe no awiei no, kyerɛw (1) suban pa a w’ani gyee ho wɔ wo hokafo no ho, ne (2) nneɛma a ɔyɛ de boaa abusua no.—Bible mu asɛm: Filipifo 4:8.

Adɛn nti na ɛho hia sɛ wode w’ani to fam? Ɔbaa warefo bi a ɔde Erika kaa sɛ: “Sɛ woware kyɛ kakra a, anhwɛ a wubefi ase abu w’ani agu nneɛma pa a wo hokafo yɛ no so. Ɔyɛ adepa bi mpo a, wunhu; nea ɛnkɔ yiye no, ɛno mmom paa na wuhu.”

Bisa wo ho sɛ: ‘Adwumaden a me hokafo yɛ no, ɛyɛ a mibu m’ani gu so anaa?’ Enti sɛ wo kunu yɛ nneɛma bi yiye wɔ fie a, ɛyɛ a woda no ase? Anaasɛ wofa no sɛ ɛyɛ n’asɛde sɛ ɔyɛ nti ɛho nhia sɛ wokamfo no? Sɛ woyɛ barima a, ɛyɛ a wote nka sɛ nea wo yere reyɛ de atete mmofra no, ɛyɛ mmaa adwuma nti onhia nkamfo anaa? Mmɔden biara a wo hokafo rebɔ no, fa yɛ wo botae sɛ wode w’adwene besi so, na yɛ biribi fa kyerɛ sɛ w’ani sɔ. Sɛ ɛyɛ kɛse anaa ketewa mpo a, ma onhu sɛ w’ani sɔ nea ɔyɛ de boa abusua no.—Bible mu asɛm: Romafo 12:10.

Fi wo komam kamfo no. Bible ma yehu sɛ ɛnnɔɔso sɛ yɛn ani bɛsɔ nneɛma kɛkɛ, mmom ɛkyerɛ sɛ yɛnyɛ biribi mfa ‘nkyerɛ.’ (Kolosefo 3:15) Enti fa yɛ wo su sɛ, wo hokafo yɛ biribi a wobɛda no ase. James kaa sɛ: “Sɛ meyɛ biribi na me yere kamfo me a, ɛma meyere me ho sɛ mɛyɛ okunu pa. Afei ɛma meyɛ nea metumi biara sɛ mɛma aware no asɔ.”—Bible mu asɛm: Kolosefo 4:6.

Sɛ awarefo kyerɛ nea wɔn mu biara yɛ ho anisɔ a, ɛma wɔn aware sɔ. Michael aware na nea ɔkae ni: “Migye di sɛ, sɛ awarefo de wɔn adwene si nea wɔn hokafo bɔ mu mmɔden so a, anka aware pii rengu. Sɛ ɔhaw bi sɔre mpo a, wɔmpere wɔn ho ngu aware no, efisɛ da biara nneɛma pa a wɔn hokafo yɛ no wɔ wɔn adwenem.”