NGABA wawukhe wavakalelwa ngaloo ndlela? Xa walufikelelayo usukelo lwakho okanye loo nto wawuyinqwenela, ngaba waqhubeka wonwabile? Okanye lwathi shwaka? Ukufikelela usukelo, okanye ukwenza into ebesiyinqwenela kunokusenza sonwabe, kodwa olo lonwabo lunokuba lelokomzuzwana. Ulonwabo oluhlala luhleli aluxhomekekanga kwizinto esizenzileyo okanye esinazo. Kunoko, kanye njengempilo, ulonwabo lokwenene luxhomekeka kwizinto ezahlukahlukeneyo.

Ngamnye wethu wahlukile. Into ekonwabisayo isenokungamonwabisi omnye umntu. Ukongezelela, xa sikhula siyatshintsha. Nakuba kunjalo, ubungqina bubonisa ukuba kukho izinto ezithile oluxhomekeke kuzo ulonwabo. Ngokomzekelo, ulonwabo lokwenene lunxibelelene nokufumana ulwaneliseko, ukungabi namona, ukuthanda abanye abantu nokungancami. Makhe sive isizathu.

Umfundi olumkileyo owayesazi abantu wathi ‘imali iyakhusela.’ Kodwa waphinda wabhala wathi: “Umthandi nje wesilivere akayi kwaneliswa yisilivere, nabani na othanda indyebo akaneliswa yingeniso. Kwanako oku kungamampunge.” (INtshumayeli 5:10; 7:12) Nantsi ingongoma yakhe, ngoxa siyifuna imali ukuze siphile, sifanele singabawi, kuba siza kuba nentliziyo ende. UKumkani uSolomon wakwaSirayeli wamandulo, owayengumbhali, wavavanya ukuze abone enoba ubutyebi nokuphila tofotofo kuzisa ulonwabo lokwenene kusini na. Wabhala wathi: “Andiwabandezanga nantoni na ayicelayo amehlo am. Andayivimba intliziyo yam naluphi na uhlobo lwemihlali.”—INtshumayeli 1:13; 2:10.

Ekubeni wayezifumbele ubutyebi, uSolomon wazakhela amapomakazi ezindlu, wazenzela iipaki namachibi amahle, enazo nezicaka ezininzi. Nantoni awayeyifuna wayeyifumana. Wafumanisa ntoni? Amava akhe amonwabisa, kodwa akazange onwabe ixesha elide. Wathi: “Khangela! yonk’ into yayingamampunge nokusukelana nomoya.” Wade wabuthiya nobomi! (INtshumayeli 2:11, 17, 18) USolomon wafumanisa ukuba ubomi bokuzibhubhisa babumenza umntu azive elihamte enganelisekanga. *

Ngaba uphando lwale mihla luyavumelana nobu bulumko bamandulo? Inqaku elapapashwa kwiJournal of Happiness Studies lafumanisa ukuba “emva kokwaneliswa kweentswelo ezingundoqo, imali engakumbi ayikwenzi wonwabe.” Kwafunyaniswa ukuba, ukuba nentabalala yezinto eziphathekayo, ngokukodwa xa kuye kwatyeshelwa imilinganiselo ebalulekileyo yokuziphatha kunokuphelisa ulonwabo.

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE: “Musani ukuba ngabathandi bemali, kunoko yanelani zizinto ezikhoyo.”—Hebhere 13:5.

Umona uchazwa ngokuba “kukumonela omnye umntu ngento entle anayo ngokokude ube buhlungu, kuba nawe uyifuna.” Njengesifo esinganyangekiyo, umona unokukulawula uze ukwenze ungonwabi. Unokwendela njani umona? Sinokuwuqonda njani? Sinokuwoyisa njani?

IEncyclopedia of Social Psychology ithi abantu badla ngokumonela abantu abalingana nabo, mhlawumbi kuba bentanganye, benamva afanayo okanye beneemvelaphi ezifanayo. Ngokomzekelo, umthengisi usenokungammoneli umntu odumileyo wasemuvini. Kodwa usenokummonela omnye umthengisi oqhuba kakuhle kunaye.

Masizekelise: Amagosa athile aphezulu amandulo asePersi amonela elinye igosa elikrelekrele uDaniyeli, kunokuba amonele ukumkani. Ukubonisa indlela amele ukuba ayengonwabanga ngayo loo madoda, ade enza iyelenqe lokubulala uDaniyeli! Kodwa elo yelenqe laphanza. (Daniyeli 6:1-24) Iencyclopedia ebesikhe sayicaphula ithi: “Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba umona  ukwenza ufune ukubenzakalisa abanye. Le nto isichaza kakuhle isizathu sokuba umona usoloko unxibelelene nogonyamelo.” *

Unokuwubona njani umona? Zibuze: ‘Ngaba xa omnye ephumelela ndiyachwayita okanye ndiyadakumba? Ukuba umntwana wasekhaya, umntu endifunda naye okanye umntu endisebenza naye uye wasilela kwinto ethile ngaba ndiba buhlungu okanye ndiyavuya?’ Ukuba “uyadakumba” uze “uvuye,” usenokuba unomona. (Genesis 26:12-14) IEncyclopedia of Social Psychology ithi, “ukuba nomona, kunokumenza umntu angakwazi ukunandipha izinto ezimnandi ebomini aze angazixabisi. . . . Imikhwa enjalo ibenza bube javujavu ubomi.”

Umona siwulwa ngokuhlakulela ukuthobeka nokuthozama kokwenene, kuba kusinceda sixabise iimpawu ezintle zabanye nobuchule abanabo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ningenzi nanye into ngokusukuzana okanye ngokuzigwagwisa, kodwa ngokuthobeka kwengqondo, nibagqala abanye njengabongamileyo kunani.”—Filipi 2:3.

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE: “Masingazigwagwisi, sikhuphisana, simonelana.”—Galati 5:26.

Incwadi ethi Social Psychology ithi: “Ulonwabo lwethu luxhomekeke kakhulu kwindlela esiphilisana ngayo nabanye abantu ngaphezu kokuba kunjalo ngemisebenzi esiyenzayo, ingeniso yethu, indawo esihlala kuzo kwanempilo yethu.” Ngamafutshane, ukuze umntu onwabe kufuneka athande abantu aze naye athandwe. Umbhali weBhayibhile wathi: “Ukuba andinalo uthando, ndiyinto engento.”—1 Korinte 13:2.

Unokukufunda nanini na ukuthanda abantu. Ngokomzekelo, uVanessa wayenotata omxhaphazayo nolinxila. Xa wayeneminyaka eyi-14, waqhwesha kowabo waza waya kuhlala kumakhaya abantwana abangenabani, nakwelinye awayephethwe kakubi kulo, uthi kulapho wabongoza uThixo ukuba amncede. Mhlawumbi kwaphendulwa imithandazo yakhe xa wahlaliswa nentsapho eyayiphila ngomgaqo weBhayibhile othi “uthando luzeka kade umsindo [lunomonde] yaye lunobubele.” (1 Korinte 13:4) Loo meko, eyayihambisana noko wayekufunda eBhayibhileni, yamnceda uVanessa wachacha. Uthi, “nasesikolweni ndaqhuba kakuhle.”

Nangoku uVanessa useneziva zobo bomi bakhe bangaphambili. Nakuba kunjalo, ngoku wonwabile emtshatweni wakhe kwaye uneentombi ezimbini.

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE: “Yambathani uthando, kuba lungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano.”—Kolose 3:14.

Ngubani ongenazo iingxaki ebomini? Kanye njengokuba isitsho iBhayibhile, kukho ‘ixesha lokulila nexesha lokwenza isijwili.’ (INtshumayeli 3:4) Ukungancami kusinceda sityhubele kuloo maxesha, siphinde sime ngeenyawo. Khawucinge ngoCarol noMildred.

UCarol unesifo somnqonqo, isifo seswekile, isifo esimenza angakwazi ukuphefumla xa elele nesifo esashiya iliso lakhe lasekhohlo lingaboni. Nangona kunjalo uthi: “Ndiye ndizame ukungasoloko ndidakumbile. Ewe, kona ndiba buhlungu. Emva koko, ndiye ndiyeke ukuzikhathaza, ndize ndibulele uThixo ngoko ndisakwaziyo ukukwenza, nendikwenzela abanye abantu.”

NoMildred unezifo eziliqela eziquka isifo samathambo, umhlaza wamabele nesifo seswekile. NjengoCarol, uye azame ukungasoloko ecinga ngeengxaki zakhe. Ubhala athi: “Ndiye ndafunda ukuthanda abantu nokuthuthuzela abanye xa begula, nto leyo endincedayo nam. Ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba xa ndithuthuzela abanye andicingi ngam.”

Ngoxa omabini la mabhinqa enomdla wokufumana unyango olusemgangathweni, awasoloko ecinga ngempilo yawo, kunoko acinga ngobuntu bawo nendlela alisebenzisa ngayo ixesha lawo. Ngenxa yoko, anovuyo olungenakohluthwa. Ukongezelela, ayathandwa ngabanye abantu yaye alukhuthazo kubantu abatyhubela kwizilingo ezahlukahlukeneyo.

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE: “Unoyolo umntu oqhubeka enyamezela isilingo, ngenxa yokuba akuba ekholekile uya kwamkela isithsaba sobomi.”—Yakobi 1:12.

Xa ubulumko beBhayibhile busetyenziswa “bungumthi wobomi kwabo babubambayo, nabo babubamba nkqi kuya kuthiwa banoyolo.” (IMizekeliso 3:13-18) Kutheni ungazifundeli loo nyaniso ngokusebenzisa ubulumko obuseBhayibhileni? Ngapha koko, uMbhali wale ncwadi ingcwele, okwabizwa ngokuba ‘nguThixo onoyolo,’ ufuna nawe wonwabe.—1 Timoti 1:11.