Ndazalelwa eMulhouse, kumntla-mpuma weFransi, kwindawo edume ngobundlongondlongo. Xa ndicinga ngobuntwana bam, ndikhumbula amalungu eentsapho esilwa kule ndawo. Kwintsapho yasekhaya, amabhinqa ayejongelwa phantsi yaye kwakungabuzwa nto kubo ngamadoda. Ndandifundiswe ukuba indawo yomntu obhinqileyo isekhitshini, kwaye umele anyamekele amadoda nabantwana.

Kwakunzima kum ndisengumntwana. Xa ndandineminyaka elishumi, utata wafa ngenxa yokusela kakhulu. Kwiminyaka emihlanu emva koko, omnye wabakhuluwa bam wazibulala. Kwakuloo nyaka, ndabona umntu ebulawa kwingxabano yentsapho, ibe oku kwandothusa kakhulu. Amalungu entsapho yam andifundisa indlela yokusebenzisa iimela nemipu nokuba ndilwe xa kuyimfuneko. Ngenxa yoko, ndaphazamiseka ndaza ndaqalisa ukuzalisa umzimba wam ngeetattoo ndaza ndasela.

Ndathi ndifika kwiminyaka eyi-16 ubudala, ndabe sele ndisela iibhotile zebhiya eziyi-10 ukuya kweziyi-15 ngosuku, ibe kungekudala ndaqalisa ukusebenzisa iziyobisi. Ukuze ndithenge ezi zinto, ndandithengisa iintsimbi ezindala ndize ndibe nokuba. Ndathi ndifika kwiminyaka eyi-17 ubudala, ndabe sele ndisuka entolongweni. Ndagwetywa izihlandlo eziyi-18 ngenxa yobusela nobundlongondlongo.

Ndathi ndakufika kwiminyaka eyi-20 ubudala, imeko yam yaqatsela. Ndanditshaya iizolo zentsangu eziyi-20 ngosuku, ndisebenzisa neheroin kunye nezinye iziyobisi ezingekho mthethweni. Ndaphantsa ndafa kaliqela ngenxa yokuzisebenzisa kakhulu. Ndaqalisa ukuthengisa iziyobisi, ngoko ndandisoloko ndixhobe ngeemela nangemipu. Ngenye imini, ndazama ukudubula omnye umfo, kodwa ngethamsamnqa imbumbulu yabetheka kwikhonkco lebhanti lakhe yawela phantsi! Xa ndandina-24, umama wasweleka, ndaza ndaba nomsindo nangakumbi. Abantu abahamba ngeenyawo babesoyika xa bendibona baze bawele isitrato. Ngenxa yokuthanda ukulwa, ndandidla ngokuchitha iimpelaveki kwizikhululo zamapolisa okanye esibhedlele ndithungwa amanxeba.

Xa ndandina-28, ndatshata. Njengoko unokulindela ke nawe, ndandingamphathi ngentlonipho umfazi wam. Ndandimthuka kwaye ndimbetha. Akukho nto sasiyenza kunye njengesibini esitshatileyo. Ndandicinga ukuba kwanele ukumngxala ngezacholo ezibiweyo. Emva koko, kwenzeka into endandingayilindelanga. Umfazi wam waqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Emva kwesifundo sakhe  sokuqala, wayeka ukutshaya, wala xa ndimpha imali endiyibileyo, waza wabuyisa izacholo endandimnike zona. Ndandinomsindo. Ndayilwa into yokufunda kwakhe iBhayibhile kwaye ndandimvuthela ngomsi wecuba ebusweni. Ndandihlekisa ngayo elumelwaneni lwethu.

Ngobunye ubusuku, ndinxilile, ndatshisa indlu esasihlala kuyo. Umfazi wam wakwazi ukundihlangula kuloo madangatye kunye nentombi yethu eneminyaka emihlanu. Ndathi ndakubuyela ezingqondweni, ndatyiwa sisazela. Ngaphakathi kum, kwakukho into ethi uThixo akanakuze andixolele. Ndikhumbula omnye umfundisi esithi abantu abenza izinto ezimbi baya esihogweni. Nogqirha wam wengqondo wathi kum: “Kuphelile ngawe! Awunakuba sancedwa mntu.”

Emva kwaloo mlilo, saya kuhlala ebukhweni. Xa amaNgqina atyelela umfazi wam, ndawabuza, “Ngaba uThixo angandixolela ngazo zonke izono zam?” Andibonisa eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 6:9-11 eBhayibhileni. Esi sicatshulwa sinoluhlu lwezinto angazifuniyo uThixo, kodwa songeza sithi: “Abanye kuni babenjalo kanye.” Loo mazwi andiqinisekisa ukuba ndandinako ukutshintsha. Emva koko loo maNgqina andiqinisekisa ukuba uThixo uyandithanda ngokundibonisa eyoku-1 kuYohane 4:8. Ndikhuthazekile, ndawacela ukuba andiqhubele isifundo seBhayibhile kabini ngeveki, kwaye ndaqalisa nokuya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu. Ndathandaza ngokuqhubekayo kuYehova.

Kungaphelanga nenyanga, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiziyeke iziyobisi notywala. Kungekudala ndeva ngathi kuqalise imfazwe emzimbeni wam! Ndandiphupha kakubi, ndiphathwa yintloko, inkantsi, nezinye izinto ezenzeka xa umntu eyeka into ebimkhobokisa. Kodwa kwangaxeshanye, kwakukho into ethi kum uYehova wayendibambe ngesandla sakhe, endomeleza. Ndandivakalelwa njengompostile uPawulos. Ngokuphathelele uncedo awalufumana kuThixo, uPawulos wabhala wathi: “Ezintweni zonke ndinamandla ngenxa yalowo undomelezayo.” (Filipi 4:13) Ethubeni, ndakwazi nokuyeka icuba.—2 Korinte 7:1.

Ngaphandle nje kokundinceda ndilawule ubomi bam, iBhayibhile yaphucula nentsapho yam. Indlela endandimjonga ngayo umfazi wam yatshintsha. Ndaqalisa ukumhlonipha nokuthi “ndiyacela” okanye “enkosi” xa ndithetha naye. Ndaqalisa nokuba ngutata wokwenene kwintombi yethu. Emva konyaka ndifunda iBhayibhile, ndahlulela ubomi bam kuYehova ndaza ndabhaptizwa, ndilandela umzekelo womfazi wam.

Ndiqinisekile ukuba yimigaqo yeBhayibhile eyasindisa ubomi bam. Kwanamalungu entsapho yam angengomaNgqina aphawule ukuba ngendibulewe kukusebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi okanye ndabulawa emlweni.

Ubomi bentsapho batshintshwa ngokupheleleyo yimfundiso yeBhayibhile echaza imbopheleleko yam njengendoda notata. (Efese 5:25; 6:4) Saqalisa ukwenza izinto kunye njengentsapho. Ngoku, endaweni yokuba ndikhombe umfazi wam ekhitshini, ndivuyiswa kukumxhasa kumsebenzi wokushumayela ixesha elizeleyo. Naye ukuvuyela kakhulu ukundixhasa kwimbopheleleko yokuba ngumdala webandla.

Uthando nenceba kaYehova uThixo zindichukumise kakhulu. Umnqweno endinawo undishukumisela ukuba ndixelele abo bajongwa njengooncanyelweni ngeempawu zakhe, kuba nam ndandijongwa ngaloo ndlela ngabaninzi. Ndiyazi ukuba iBhayibhile inamandla okunceda nabani na aphile ubomi obucocekileyo nobunenjongo. IBhayibhile ayindifundisanga ukuthanda nokuhlonipha abantu kuphela, kodwa indifundise nokuzihlonela.