Kweli nqaku

•  Yintoni amele ayenze utata?

•  Yintoni eyahlukileyo enyenziwa ngutata?

•  Ootata neentombi zabo

•  Icebiso eliya kootata

•   Ngaphambi kokuba umntwana wakho azalwe. Uhlobo lomyeni olulo ngoku, lubonisa uhlobo lotata oza kuba lulo. Incwadi ethi Do Fathers Matter? ithi:

   “Utata onceda umama okhulelweyo ukuba athenge izinto, amse kwagqirha, aze abe kunye naye kwagqirha xa bemamele ukubetha kwentliziyo esesesiswini, uza kuba khona ebomini babo naxa umntwana sele ezelwe.”

   “Ndandingafuni ukuba umfazi wam azive eyedwa kuba ekhulelwe, ndazama ukumnceda. Negumbi lomntwana sade salilungisa sobabini. Yayilixesha elimnandi nelikhethekileyo elo kuthi njengokuba sasilungiselela ukuzalwa komntwana wethu.”—UJames.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Ningacingeli kuphela iziqu zenu, kodwa nibacingele nabanye.”—Filipi 2:4.

•   Emva kokuba umntwana wakho ezelwe. Ungasondelelana nomntwana wakho ngokumfunqula uze udlale naye. Ungancedisa nakweminye imisebenzi yokukhulisa nokuhoya umntwana. Izinto ozenzayo njengotata ziza kumnceda akhule kakuhle. Ukuchitha ixesha nomntwana wakho kubonisa ukuba uyamthanda.

   “Dlala nomntwana wakho nihleke kube mnandi. Ungade uguqe ukuze ulingane naye. Khumbula, umntwana wakho uqala ukulubona nokulufunda uthando kuwe.”—URichard.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Abantwana balilifa elivela kuYehova; isiqhamo sesibeleko singumvuzo.”—INdumiso 127:3, umbhalo osemazantsi.

•   Njengokuba umntwana wakho ekhula. Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana abasondeleyo kootata babo baye benze kakuhle esikolweni, bangabi nangxaki ngendlela abaziva ngayo, bangasebenzisi iziyobisi baze baziphathe kakubi. Ziphe ixesha elaneleyo ube yitshomi yomntwana wakho.

   “Unyana wam wandichazela ukuba enye yezinto aza kuzikhumbula xa emkile ekhaya ziincoko ebesiba nazo xa sisendleleni naxa sisitya kunye. Ezona zinto zibalulekileyo sasincokola ngazo sasivele sizibone sele sithetha ngazo singalindelanga. Kwakungekho nzima ukuncokola kuba sasisoloko sikunye.”—UDennis.

   Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Hlalani nizigadile ukuba ningenzi izinto njengabantu abangezozilumko, kodwa nizenze njengezilumko, nilisebenzise kakuhle ixesha.”—Efese 5:15, 16.

 Ngokuqhelekileyo, ootata bebesoloko bejongwa njengabona bakhusela nabanika iintsapho zabo izinto abazidingayo. Oomama bona bebesoloko bejongwa njengabona bakhathalele indlela intsapho eziva ngayo. (Duteronomi 1:31; Isaya 49:15) Iindlela iintsapho ezenza ngayo izinto azifani. Abaphandi bathi, utata nomama banezinto ezintle ezahlukeneyo abazenzayo xa bekhulisa abantwana. a

 Umphandi ngentsapho uJudith Wallerstein unamava ayicacisa kakuhle le nto. Ubhala athi: “Xa intombi yam eneminyaka eyi-12 yatshayiswa yimoto, yafuna ukuhamba notata wayo nge-ambulensi kuba yayinethemba lokuba uza kuyikhusela. Xa yayisesibhedlele, yayifuna ukuba isoloko indim osecaleni kwebhedi yayo ukuze ndiyithuthuzele.” b

 “Utata nguye omele agcine aze akhusele intsapho yakhe ibe umama akanakukwazi ukuyenza eyedwa loo nto. Umama yena wenza kube mnandi ekhaya, ibe umamela ngovelwano. Bobabini bayasebenzisana.”—UDaniel.

 Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Yimamele nyana wam, ingqeqesho katata wakho, ungayilahli imfundiso kamama wakho.”—IMizekeliso 1:8.

 Njengotata, ufundisa intombi yakho indlela efanele iphathwe ngayo ngamanye amadoda. Le nto ingayifunda ngezi ndlela zimbini zilandelayo:

•   Ngokujonga indlela omphatha ngayo umama wayo. Xa umthanda ibe umhlonipha umfazi wakho, intombi yakho ibona iimpawu ezibalulekileyo enokuzijonga kumyeni xa sele ikhulile ibe ifuna ukutshata.—1 Petros 3:7.

•   Ngokujonga indlela omphatha ngayo yena. Xa uyihlonipha intombi yakho, uyifundisa ukuba nayo izihloniphe. Iphinda ifunde ukuba imele iphathwe ngembeko yenye indoda.

   Kodwa, xa utata esoloko eyigxeka intombi yakhe, loo nto ingenza ukuba ingazithembi ize ifune ukuhoywa ngamanye amadoda—angayikhathalelanga.

   “Intombi ethandwayo nexhaswayo ngutata wayo ayinakutsaleleka lula kwindoda engenazimpawu zintle zokuba ngumyeni.”—UWayne.