Bheka la magama, bese uphendula imibuzo elandelayo.

1.   Imaphi amagama achaza abafana abasakhula njengoba uvame ukubabona bevezwa emithonjeni yezokusakaza (nakumabhayisikobho, kuthelevishini nakwezokukhangisa)?

2.   Imaphi amagama achaza indlela wena ongathanda ukwaziwa ngayo?

 Cishe izimpendulo zakho zombuzo wokuqala zivela ohlwini 1, kanti izimpendulo zakho zombuzo wesibili zivela ohlwini 2. Uma kunjalo, kuhle lokho. Kungani? Kungenxa yokuthi mhlawumbe lokho okuvezwa abezokusakaza ngabesilisa akukona lokho wena oyikho ngempela—noma uhlobo lomuntu okufanele ube yilo. Cabanga ngezizathu.

•   Ezokusakaza ngokuvamile ziveza abesilisa njengabantu abanobudlova nabavukelayo. Incwadi ethi Why Boys Don’t Talk​—and Why It Matters, iphawula ukuthi ngokuvamile abantu besilisa abadumile bavezwa kuyithelevishini, emabhayisikobho nakwezemidlalo “njengabanamandla ngokomzimba nabanolaka. . . . Umyalezo odluliselwayo uwukuthi ukuze wamukeleke, kufanele ube nokhahlo futhi uvukele.”

   Ongacabanga ngakho: Ingabe ukuba nolaka kungakwenza kube lula ngabanye ukuba basenzelane nawe, futhi kukwenze ube umngane noma umyeni ongcono? Lapho ucasulwa, wenzenjani—uvele uqhume ngolaka noma uyazithiba? Ikuphi okungaba ubufakazi bokuthi uyindoda yangempela?

   IBhayibheli lithi: “Owephuza ukuthukuthela ungcono kunendoda enamandla, nolawula umoya wakhe ungcono kunothumba umuzi.”—IzAga 16:32.

•   Ezokusakaza ziveza abantu besilisa njengabathanda ezocansi ngokweqile. UChris oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala uthi: “Kumabhayisikobho nakuyi-thelevishini, abafana bashintshashintsha amantombazane abathandana nawo ngaphezu kokushintsha izimpahla abazigqokayo.” UGary oneminyaka engu-18 uyaqhubeka: “Kwezokuzakaza umfana wangempela yilowo othanda ezocansi ngokweqile.” Ngokwesibonelo, amanye amabhayisikobho, enza kubonakale sengathi okuwukuphela komgomo womfana ekuphileni ukuba aye emicimbini, aphuze abese elala namantombazane.

   Ongacabanga ngakho: Ingabe lowo mbono okha phezulu uveza uhlobo lwedumela wena ofuna ukuba nalo? Ingabe indoda yangempela iphatha abesifazane njengezinto zocansi, noma ibaphatha ngenhlonipho?

   IBhayibheli lithi: “Ngamunye wenu azi ukuthi angasilawula kanjani isitsha sakhe siqu ngokungcweliswa nangodumo, kungabi ngesifiso sobulili sokukhanuka.”​—1 Thesalonika 4:4, 5.

•   Ezokusakaza ziveza abafana njengabanganaki. Kumabhayisikobho nasezinhlelweni zethelevishini eziningi ezithandwayo, abafana abasakhula ngokuvamile bavezwa njengabangamavila nabangakwazi ukwenza izinto kahle. Mhlawumbe yileso sizathu esenza abanye abantu abadala bangalethembi kahle ikhono labafana lokwenza izinto. UGary oke wacashunwa, uthi: “Lapho ngiba neminyaka engu-16, kwaba nzima ukuthola umsebenzi, ngoba abanikazi bamabhizinisi endaweni yakithi babefuna ukuqasha abesifazane kuphela. Babenomuzwa wokuthi bonke abafana abasakhula babenganaki noma bengathembekile!”

   Ongacabanga ngakho: Ingabe umbono okha phezulu wokuthi abafana abasakhula abanaki futhi abathembekile ufanelekile? Ungabonisa kanjani ukuthi wena uhlukile?

   IBhayibheli lithi: “Makungabikho muntu nanini obukela phansi ubusha bakho. Ngokuphambene nalokho, yiba isibonelo kwabathembekile ekukhulumeni, ekuziphatheni, othandweni, okholweni, ngobumsulwa.”—1 Thimothewu 4:12.

•   Ezokusakaza zingaba nethonya elikhulu kuwe. Ngokwesibonelo, ezokusakaza zingakwenza ube nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele wenze lokho okwenziwa abanye ukuze uthandwe. UColin oneminyaka engu-17, uthi: “Ezokukhangisa zibonisa indlela izinsizwa okufanele zigqoke ngayo, futhi ziziveze zingungwe ngamantombazane. Kwenza umuntu afune ukuyothenga lezo zimpahla zokugqoka. Ngiye ngakwenza lokho izikhathi ezimbalwa!”

   Ongacabanga ngakho: Ingabe indlela wena ogqoka ngayo iveza uhlobo lomuntu oyilo ngempela, noma usuvele walandela iningi? Ubani ngempela ozuzayo uma uchitha imali yakho uthenga izinto eziyimfashini yamuva?

   IBhayibheli lithi: “Yekani ukulolongwa nifane nalesi simiso sezinto.”—Roma 12:2.

•   Ukulandela umbono okha phezulu kungakwenza ungathandeki emantombazaneni. Cabanga ngalokho okuye kwashiwo amanye awo:

  •  U-Anna uthi: “Ngingakhetha insizwa eveza lokho eyikho ngempela, kunaleyo engazethembi futhi efihla lokho eyikho ngoba izama ukuhlaba abanye umxhwele. Eqinisweni, umfana ohlala ezama kanzima ukuhlaba abanye umxhwele uvele acasule!”

  •  UDanielle uthi: “Abakhangisi benza abafana bazizwe sengathi kufanele babe nezinto ezithile zobuchwepheshe noma babukeke ngendlela ethile ukuze bakhange emantombazaneni. Kodwa, njengoba amantomabazane ekhula, abheka ngale kwalezo zinto. Esikhundleni sazo, abona izimfanelo zomuntu ezingaphakathi futhi abheke indlela aphatha ngayo abanye abantu. Ngokwesibonelo, amantombazane ayabathanda abafana abathembekile nabaqotho.”

  •  UDiana uthi: “Ngokuvamile, ‘insizwa ebukeka kahle kakhulu’ iyaziqhenya, kanti mina angifuni ukuba seduze nanoma yimuphi umuntu onjalo. Ungaba insizwa ebukeka kahle kunazo zonke ezweni, kodwa ngeke uze uthandeke uma ubuntu bakho bububi.”

   Ongacabanga ngakho: Lapho ichaza umfana onguSamuweli imiBhalo ithi, “wayelokhu ekhula futhi ethandeka ngokwengeziwe kuJehova nakubantu.” (1 Samuweli 2:26) Iziphi izimfanelo odinga ukusebenzela kuzo ukuze ube nalelo dumela?

   IBhayibheli lithi: “Niqhubeke njengamadoda.”—1 Korinte 16:13.

•   Hlola umbono okha phezulu. Phawula lokhu okushiwo iBhayibheli: “Konke okusezweni—isifiso senyama nesifiso samehlo nokugabisa ngalokho umuntu aziphilisa ngakho—akuveli kuBaba, kodwa kuvela ezweni.”—1 Johane 2:16.

   Abezindaba baqokomisa lezo zifiso, futhi baziveze njengezivamile. Ngakho kuhlole lokho okubonayo. Ngokuvamile kumane nje kuyindlela yabezentengiselwano yokuthola imali.

•   Zenzele izinqumo zakho. IBhayibheli lithi: “Nigqoke ubuntu obusha, obenziwa bube busha ngolwazi olunembile ngokomfanekiso waLowo owabudala”—hhayi ngokomfanekiso ogqugquzelwa abezindaba.—Kolose 3:10.

   Ukuze sikusize ulandele leso seluleko, cabanga ngezimfanelo oye waziphawula ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko—okuyizimfanelo ongathanda ukwaziwa ngazo. Kungani ungaqali manje ukuzihlakulela noma ukuzithuthukisa?

•   Thola abantu abayizibonelo ezinhle. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ohamba nabahlakaniphile uyohlakanipha.” (IzAga 13:20) Imaphi amadoda ekuphileni kwakho aye azibonakalisa ehlakaniphile? Kungenzeka abanye kube amalungu omndeni, njengobaba wakho noma umalume. Abanye kungase kube abangane besilisa abavuthiwe noma kube abantu obajwayele. OFakazi BakaJehova banabantu abaningi abayizibonelo ebandleni lobuKristu. IBhayibheli ngokwalo linabantu abayizibonelo, njengoThithu, owabekela intsha isibonelo esihle engasilandela.—Thithu 2:6-8.

   Ukusikisela: Sebenzisa incwadi ethi Lingisa Ukholo Lwabo, ukuze ufunde ngezibonelo eziseBhayibheli zamadoda avelele, anjengo-Abela, uNowa, u-Abrama, uSamuweli, u-Eliya, uJona, uJosefa noPetru.