Abanye abantu abashadile ababhekene nezinkinga, bazitshela ukuthi idivosi izozisiza izingane zabo—bacabanga ukuthi kungcono yona kunokuthi izingane zihlale nabazali ababili abaxabanayo. Ubufakazi bubonisani?

•  Iyini imiphumela yedivosi ezinganeni?

•  Ingabe ingane yami izojabula kakhudlwana uma ngidivosa?

•  Yini okufanele ngiyazi ngokukhulisa izingane nomzali wazo esengihlukene naye?

•  Ingabe ikhona indlela engcono?

 Ucwaningo luveza ukuthi imiphumela yedivosi ezinganeni iyashaqisa. Maningi amathuba okuba izingane zabadivosile:

•   zibe nentukuthelo, zikhathazeke kakhulu, futhi zibe nesifo sokucindezeleka

•   zingaziphathi kahle

•   ziphazamiseke esikoleni noma zisiyeke isikole

•   zigule

 Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane eziningi zizisola zona ngedivosi, zicabanga ukuthi kungenzeka yizo ezayibangela noma kwakufanele ziyivimbele.

 Ubunzima izingane zabadivosile ezibhekana nabo bungaqhubeka ngisho sezingabantu abadala, lapho zingase zizizwe zingento yalutho futhi zingabethembi abanye. Maningi amathuba okuba nazo zidivose lapho ziba nezazo izinkinga zomshado.

 Iphuzu elibalulekile: Nakuba abanye abantu abacabanga ukudivosa bezitshela ukuthi kungaba ngcono ezinganeni, ucwaningo alukusekeli lokho. Isazi sokunakekelwa kwezingane uPenelop Leach uyabhala: “Idivosi yenza izingane zibe nosizi.” a

 Okushiwo iBhayibheli: ‘Ningacabangeli izindaba zenu nje kuphela, kodwa nikhathalele nabanye.’—Filipi 2:4.

 Abanye abantu bangase bathi yebo. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi ngokuvamile izidingo zomzali nezidingo zengane azifani. Umuntu ocabangela idivosi ufuna ukuphila okusha. Ingane yona ifuna ukubambelela kulokho enakho noBaba noMama ndawonye.

 Ngemva kokuhlola izinkulungwane zamadivosi, umbhali wencwadi ethi The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce wabhala: “Kunomyalezo owodwa ocacile: izingane azisho ukuthi sezijabule kakhudlwana. Kunalokho, zithi, ‘Usuku abazali bami abadivosa ngalo kwaba usuku okwaphela ngalo ukuba yingane.’” Le ncwadi inezela ukuthi zibona izwe “njengelingenakwethenjwa, eliyingozi kakhudlwana ngoba azisalindele ukuba ubuhlobo obuseduze ezinabo nabanye buhlale buqinile.”

 Iphuzu elibalulekile: Mancane amathuba okuba izingane zizizwe zijabule ngemva kokudivosa kwabazali bazo.

 Okushiwo iBhayibheli: “Umoya omunyu uqeda amandla.”—IzAga 17:22.

 Abanye abantu abadivosile bazama kakhulu ukulingisa imindeni enabazali ababili, becabanga ukuthi basengakwazi ukukwenza ngendlela abebengakwenza ngayo ukube basashadile. Nokho ukukhulisa izingane kanjalo kunzima. Ucwaningo luveza ukuthi abadivosile ngokuvamile:

•   bachitha isikhathi esincane nezingane zabo

•   bafundisa imithetho engafani

•   bavumelana nezingane ngenxa yomuzwa wecala noma ukukhathala

 Ingane yabadivosile ingase ithambekele nasekwenqabeni igunya labazali. Empeleni, abazali bayo bahlulekile ukunamathela ezimisweni ezinjengokuzinikela noma ukwethembana noma ukunamathela ezivumelwaneni. Ingane ingase icabange, ‘Kungani kufanele ngibalalele?’

 Iphuzu elibalulekile: Ngokuvamile kunzima ngabadivosile ukuba baphumelele ekukhuliseni izingane ngokubambisana. Kodwa kuba nzima nakakhulu ezinganeni.

 Okushiwo iBhayibheli: “Ningabacasuli abantwana benu, ukuze bangadikibali.”—Kolose 3:21, umbhalo waphansi.

 Ngokuvamile, umzamo odingekayo abantu abawenzayo ukuze ukuphila kuqhubeke ngemva kwedivosi ungasetshenziswa kangcono ekusebenzeleni ukuvikela umshado. Incwadi ethi The Case for Marriage ithi: “Umshado awuhlali umubi phakade njengoba singase sicabange ngezinye izikhathi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imishado eminingi yabantu abangajabule abahlalayo emshadweni, iba ejabulisa ngisho nakakhulu.” Izingane kuzihambela kahle kakhulu uma abazali bazo behlala ndawonye.

 Lokhu akusho ukuthi akufanele nanini kukhethwe ukudivosa. Empeleni, iBhayibheli liyakuvumela ukudivosa ngesizathu sokuziphatha kabi ngokocansi. (Mathewu 19:9) Nokho, iBhayibheli liphinde lithi “okhaliphile uyacabangisisa ngazo zonke izinyathelo zakhe.” (IzAga 14:15) Abayeni namakhosikazi abasemshadweni onezinkinga kufanele babuke zonke izinhlangothi—kuhlanganise nomphumela idivosi engaba nawo ezinganeni zabo.

 Yiqiniso, kungase kudingeke okwengeziwe kunokumane niqhubeke nindawonye. IBhayibheli linikeza iseluleko esihle kakhulu sokusiza abayeni namakhosikazi babe nezimfanelo ezidingekayo ukuze babe nomshado ohlala njalo nojabulayo. Akumangazi lokho, ngoba umBhali weBhayibheli, uJehova, wadala ilungiselelo lomshado.—Mathewu 19:4-6.

 Okufundiswa iBhayibheli: “Mina, Jehova, nginguNkulunkulu wakho, Lowo okufundisayo ukuze uzuze.”—Isaya 48:17.