USIZO LOMNDENI | UMSHADO
Indlela Yokugcina Ezobuchwepheshe Zisendaweni Yazo
Ukusebenzisa ezobuchwepheshe kungawuzuzisa noma kuwulimaze umshado wakho. Kuwuthinta kanjani umshado wakho?
Okufanele ukwazi
Ukuzisebenzisa ngokuhlakanipha ezobuchwepheshe kungawuzuzisa umshado wakho. Ngokwesibonelo, abanye abayeni namakhosikazi bazisebenzisela ukuxhumana phakathi nosuku.
“Umyalezo nje olula othi ‘Ngiyakuthanda’ noma ‘Ngikukhumbule’ ungasho lukhulu.”—UJonathan.
Ukuzisebenzisa ngokungahlakaniphi ezobuchwepheshe kungawulimaza umshado. Ngokwesibonelo, abanye abantu balibala imishini yabo yezobuchwepheshe, okunciphisa isikhathi abangasichitha nomuntu abashade naye.
“Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi umyeni wami ubengathanda ukukhuluma nami ukube bengingasebenzisi ifoni yami.”—UJulissa.
Abanye abantu bathi bayakwazi ukuba nengxoxo enengqondo nabashade nabo kuyilapho besebenzisa ifoni yabo ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ngokusho kwesazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu uSherry Turkle “awukwazi ukwenza imisebenzi eminingi ngesikhathi esisodwa.” Ngokucacile, lokho okuthiwa ikhono lokwenza imisebenzi eminingi ngesikhathi esisodwa akukuhle. Uthi empeleni, “izinga lethu lokwenza umsebenzi liyehla lapho siwenza kanyekanye nomunye umsebenzi.” a
“Ukuba nengxoxo nomyeni wami kuyazuzisa, kodwa hhayi lapho enza imisebenzi eminingi ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ukwenza imisebenzi eminingi ngesikhathi esisodwa kubonisa ukuthi ubezojabula ukuba uqhubeke nefoni yakhe kuphela.”—USarah.
Iphuzu elibalulekile: Indlela osebenzisa ngayo ezobuchwepheshe ingawusiza noma iwulimaze umshado wakho.
Ongakwenza
Beka okubalulekile kuqala. IBhayibheli lithi: “Niqiniseke ngezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu.” (Filipi 1:10) Zibuze, ‘Ingabe isikhathi esisichitha sinake amafoni ethu sisincisha isikhathi sokunaka omunye nomunye?’
“Kuyadabukisa ukubona indoda nowesifazane besebenzisa amafoni abo lapho behleli esitolo sokudlela—abantu ababili abalibele imishini yabo yezobuchwepheshe. Asifuni ukuba izigqila zezobuchwepheshe size sikhohlwe into ebaluleke kakhulu—ubuhlobo bethu nomunye nomunye.”—UMatthew.
Beka imingcele. IBhayibheli lithi: “Qaphelisisani ukuthi indlela enihamba ngayo ayinjengeyabantu abangahlakaniphile kodwa injengeyabahlakaniphile, nisisebenzise kahle isikhathi senu.” (Efesu 5:15,16) Zibuze, ‘Ngingazibekela yini isikhathi esiqondile sokufunda nokuphendula imiyalezo engaphuthumi kunokuba nginake yonke imiyalezo ngesikhathi efika ngaso?’
“Ngikuthole kusiza ukucima umsindo efonini yami bese ngiphendula imiyalezo ngesinye isikhathi esikahle. Akuvamile ukuba ucingo olungenayo, umyalezo, noma i-imeyili ibe ephuthuma kakhulu efuna ukuphendulwa ngokushesha.”—UJonathan.
Uma kungenzeka, shiya umsebenzi emsebenzini. IBhayibheli lithi: “Kukhona isikhathi esimisiwe sayo yonke into.” (UmShumayeli 3:1) Zibuze le mibuzo: ‘Ingabe umsebenzi wami uthatha isikhathi sami nomndeni wami ngokusebenzisa ifoni? Uma kunjalo, kuwuthinta kanjani umshado wami? Angathini engishade naye?’
“Ngenxa yezobuchwepheshe, siyakwazi ukusebenza nganoma yisiphi isikhathi nangaso sonke isikhathi. Kudingeka ngenze umzamo okhethekile wokugwema ukulokhu ngibheka ifoni yami ngigweme nokunaka izinto ezimayelana nomsebenzi lapho mina nomkami sindawonye.”—UMattthew.
Xoxani ngokusebenzisa ezobuchwepheshe noshade naye. IBhayibheli lithi: “Yilowo nalawo makangazifuneli inzuzo yakhe siqu, kodwa eyomunye umuntu.” (1 Korinte 10:24) Khuluma noshade naye ngokuthi ningazisebenzisa kanjani ezobuchwepheshe nokuthi yiziphi izinguquko, uma zikhona, okufanele nizenze. Ungasebenzisa okungaxoxwa ngakho okukulesi sihloko.
“Mina nomyeni wami siqotho komunye nomunye, futhi siyakhuluma uma sinomuzwa wokuthi omunye usebenzisa kakhulu ifoni noma ithebhulethi. Sobabili siyabona ukuthi lokhu kungaba inkinga, ngakho siyawunakisisa umbono womunye.”—UDanielle.
Iphuzu elibalulekile: Qiniseka ukuthi ezobuchwepheshe ziyisikhonzi sakho, hhayi inkosi yakho.
a Kucashunwe encwadini ethi Reclaiming Conversation—The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.