Unomngane wobulili obuhlukile okuqonda kangcono. Wena naye ningakhuluma nganoma yini, futhi empeleni yilokho enikwenzayo. Uzitshela ukuthi, ‘Simane nje singabangane,’ nakuba oshade naye engase abe nombono ohlukile uma ebengase ezwe ngezingxoxo zenu ezinde.

Kungenzeka ukuthi ubungane benu sebudlulele, manje sekufanele usilungise leso simo. Kodwa okokuqala, cabanga ngokuthi yini okungenzeka iye yakuholela ebuhlotsheni obunjalo.

Umuzwa wokwaneliseka. Kalula nje, ukunakwa umuntu wobulili obuhlukile kuyajabulisa. Siyathanda ukwazi ukuthi sibalulekile futhi kusenza sibe nomuzwa wokuthi siyakhanga. Ngemva kwesikhathi esithile ushadile, umngane wakho wobulili obuhlukile angase akuqinisekise ngokuthi usakhanga. Kodwa yazi lokhu: Ukwaneliswa kwezidingo ezinjalo umuntu ongashadile naye kunemiphumela engemihle. Lapho usondelana ngokungafanele ngokomzwelo nomuntu wobulili obuhlukile, wenza buthaka ubuhlobo bakho noshade naye. Ngandlela-thile, umncisha uthando olumfanele.

• Zibuze, ‘Yiziphi izidingo ezaneliswa yilobu bungane obekuyoba ngcono ukuba zaneliswe umshado wami?’

Ukuzizwa ungalondekile. IBhayibheli liyavuma ukuthi labo abashadayo bayoba “nosizi” ngezinga elithile. (1 Korinte 7:28) Ngokwesibonelo, ngezinye izikhathi ungase uzizwe unganakiwe noma umuntu oshade naye engakwazisi, noma ungase ubambe igqubu ngenkinga ethile engaxazululwanga. Mhlawumbe oshade naye uyakugwema ukukhuluma ngezinto ezinjalo, akushiye ukhungathekile futhi ufisa kube nothile ozokunaka. Abanye ochwepheshe bathi ukushalazela ukuxoxa ngezinkinga ezinjalo kungabangela ukungajabuli emshadweni—kungaholela ngisho nasesahlukanisweni.

• Zibuze, ‘Ingabe likhona igebe emshadweni wami elingenze ngachayeka ebuhlotsheni obungafanele?’

Ziqaphele izingozi. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ungawubeka yini umlilo esifubeni sakho kodwa izingubo zakho zingashi?” (IzAga 6:27, Good News Translation) Iqiniso liwukuthi, ukuhlakulela imizwa yothando nothile ube usushadile kakade kuyalimaza. (Jakobe 1:14, 15) Akuyona nje indaba yokuthi yini engase yenzeke. Cabanga ngalokho osekwenzekile kakade. Ngokunaka omunye umuntu ngaleyo ndlela, uye wancisha oshade naye ukunakwa okufanele akuthole kuwe.

Ungazikhohlisi. Ubungane obuseduze bungase bukwenze uzibuze ukuthi ukuphila bekuyoba njani ukube wawushade nalo muntu. Nokho, cishe uqhathanisa ngokungafanele izici ezinhle zomngane wakho nobuthakathaka boshade naye. Khumbula nokuthi leyo njabulo oyizwayo lapho ucabanga ngomngane wakho cishe injabulo efanayo owawuyizwa ekuqaleni ngomuntu oshade naye.—Isimiso seBhayibheli: Jeremiya 17:9.

Zibekele imingcele. Abantu bafaka izinhlaba-mkhosi ezimotweni nasemizini yabo ukuze bavimbele amasela. Ungenza okufanayo nasemshadweni wakho. IBhayibheli lithi, “Qapha inhliziyo yakho.” (IzAga 4:23) Ungakwenza kanjani lokho? Zama lokhu okulandelayo:

• Kwenze kucace ukuthi usushadile kakade—mhlawumbe ube nezithombe zoshade naye emsebenzini.—Isimiso seBhayibheli: Genesise 2:24.

• Nquma ukuthi yikuphi oyokubekezelela nongeke ukubekezelele uma kuziwa endleleni osebenzelana ngayo nabobulili obuhlukile. Ngokwesibonelo, kuyoba okungafanelekile neze ukukhuluma nalowo mngane ngezinkinga zomshado wakho noma nizikhiphe nowobulili obuhlukile osebenza naye.

• Uma ususondelene kakhulu nomuntu wobulili obuhlukile, buqede lobo buhlobo. Uma ukwenza kanjalo kubonakala kunzima kakhulu, zibuze ukuthi kungani. Esikhundleni sokuzama ukubeka izaba ngobuhlobo bakho nalo muntu, zimisele ukunakekela izidingo zoshade naye futhi uthathe izinyathelo zokuvikela umshado wenu.—Isimiso seBhayibheli: IzAga 5:18, 19.